


Take me home where I belong

by space_lace



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! GX
Genre: Angst, Attempted Murder, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Panic Attacks, Suicidal Thoughts, Time Skips, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:33:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 32
Words: 43,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22853281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_lace/pseuds/space_lace
Summary: For as much as Jun knew his brothers hated him, he never would have thought that they would be so willing to kill him.
Relationships: Kanou Martin | Marcel Bonaparte/Saotome Rei | Blair Flannigan, Manjoume Jun | Chazz Princeton/Yuuki Juudai | Jaden Yuki, Marufuji Ryou | Zane Truesdale/Tenjouin Fubuki | Atticus Rhodes, Saiou Mizuchi | Sarina/Tenjouin Asuka | Alexis Rhodes
Comments: 40
Kudos: 130





	1. And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based on an AU I initially called "Conbini Chazz AU" and you can find the art I made for it on my tumblr, frejrsart. And then it's just snowballed from there and here we are. All because I originally drew one single picture.
> 
> The title of the fic is from the song "Runaway" by Aurora. The chapter title is from the song "Youth" by Daughter.

Jun had been about five or six when he figured out that his brothers hated him. He’d always known they didn’t care about him on some level but it wasn’t until then that reality sunk in. Ever since then he had tried so hard to measure up, to be enough to earn his brothers’ respect. Every time he got anything other than a 100 on a test he felt a little piece of his self-esteem chip away. All it had gotten him was loneliness and crippling self-hatred, covered up in false confidence.

But for as much as he knew they hated him, he never would have thought that they would be so willing to kill him.

He’d been 19, hadn’t graduated from Duel Academy too long ago, when his brothers had taken him on a trip. He’d thought that maybe they would try to patch things up since he was doing well in tournaments lately, but instead, they had driven on long empty roads, till they reached the top of a cliff towering over the sea. It was a cloudy day, with rain hanging heavy in the clouds, and no one was around for miles.

That was when they pulled guns on him, equipped with silencers. They hadn’t said a word to him as most bullets missed, and the three bullets that hit had him bleeding on the ground. Only Chousaku seemed to have any sort of hesitation, unable to meet Jun’s eye as he shot him, missing all shots but one. While he lay there, shocked to the point of the pain not yet registering in his brain, they stripped him of his ID, phone, cards, wallet and deck. They got rid of anything that could identify him. Jun could hear the Ojama Trio scream in horror for him as Shoji pushed him over the edge of the cliff.

-

It was nothing short of a miracle that he had survived, lucky that they had chosen too low a cliff for the water below to kill him on impact, and that both his older brothers were such terrible shots. One had hit his shoulder, one his thigh, the third in his abdomen. The third had undoubtedly been the worst, but it had missed his organs by millimeters. He had been crying the entire time he was forced to extract the bullets out of his own body, washed up on the shore and hiding inside a public bathroom. He knew that his brothers had gotten into bed with the yakuza, or some other sort of bad crowd, but he didn’t think him knowing about it would make them want to get rid of him. Apparently he’d been wrong, and it had cost him his entire identity. He knew that if they ever found out that he was still alive, the likelihood of them coming to finish the job was extremely high. He couldn’t take that risk.

So, in a public bathroom with a cracked mirror and flickering lights he’d cut off his hair until it was no more than a few centimeters short, stripping him of the last of his past life. The dull scissors sawed through his thick black hair, strands falling all over his shirt, his face, the floor and the sink with its leaking faucet. He instantly hated it.

-

For a while he’d been homeless, and he’d picked up on how to make himself look less homeless fairly quickly. He knew he had to get a job if he wanted to survive on his own, and no one would hire him if he was dirty and unshaven. So he’d managed to gather enough money to get a gym membership, saving money by learning how to not get caught shoplifting to get food to eat. He’d kept to a shady gym that didn’t require any sort of identification to sign up; a place where he could pay cash. Eventually he managed to find a job in a convenience store that was open 24/7, yet again making sure that he didn’t need any ID or bank account.

The final piece of the puzzle fit into place when he found an apartment. It was small and needed a huge amount of work done, but after almost two years of living on the streets it was a godsend. It was warm and dry, he had running water and could make his own food. Finally he felt like he could get himself back on his feet. The first few nights there he slept on the floor under a bunch of blankets, curled into a ball.

It was a harsh slap in the face to go from his former lifestyle to not knowing when his next meal would be, but he’d always been stubborn. And if there was one thing he knew, it was that he would _not_ die.


	2. Am I only living, living to survive?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After 9 years of keeping hidden, things are starting to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is from the song "Antidote" by Faith Marie.

The morning, like every morning, started with a blaring alarm and yelling in his ear. Jun groaned as he nudged Cheeseburger, his tripod cat, off his back so he could sit up, tiredly staring at the big numbers 5:00 on his phone screen. Far from having had enough sleep, he had to roll himself off the bed to fall the short drop to the floor. Cheeseburger hopped her way down next to him, purring as she rubbed her face against his sleep tousled hair before he finally got up on his feet to shut the alarm off.

Arms stretching over his head, he did a few stretches before walking to the tiny kitchen, all the while Cheeseburger tried to trip him until he gave her her breakfast. She happily munched away on her wet food, human company momentarily forgotten, and he started preparing his own breakfast. He had two shifts back to back today, so his usual meal was replaced with a sturdier one that would last him longer. The rice and fish never failed to remind him of his days at the Slifer Red dorms, and he felt a sting in his chest at the thought of the friends he hadn’t seen in so many years, and he couldn’t help himself but open the instagram app on his phone as he waited for the rice to cook. He tried to avoid thinking about them, but the anniversary for his DA graduation had just passed, and he knew they all would have met less than a week ago, back at their old school. He went to Asuka’s page first, all his old friends' usernames committed to memory by now. Right there, the newest post, he could see all of their faces smiling at him in front of a backdrop of what had been home to him; the red dorm. It had been fixed up a bit, but still looked ragged and not fit for a Manjoume to live in, even ten years later.

He missed it so much it hurt.

\----

Working double shifts at the convenience store was hell, especially when you had to pretend to be someone else. The store was in a pretty bad neighbourhood, which he had known when he applied, since a place had to be at least a little bit shady to hire someone without any sort of identification, but that also brought along a lot of annoying customers.

It being Friday, a lot of people bought copious amounts of alcohol. Most of the time when he asked for an ID to prove that the person buying it was of age he got an angry response, but he just had to smile and bear the insults from teenagers who claimed they “know the boss” or are “totally 30 years old, see, the ID is totally not fake”. After 8 years of working at the same place, he’d heard all kinds of ridiculous excuses for why he should sell them beer or cigarettes just this once. But what happened at the front of the store had to be legal, the boss had made sure of that. Jun kept his ears away from what might happen behind though, but he knew it wasn’t anything major. The boss wasn’t that bad after all, law wise. He followed it most of the time. The man was less particular with the treatment of his workers, and let the customers get away with all sorts of things said and done to the staff. Most of them didn’t have proper contracts, so there was little they could do. Jun had figured out rather early on that he wasn’t the only one who couldn’t flaunt IDs. He could say his name was now “Tanaka Haruki”, but without the right amount of cash and the right contact, he couldn’t get any sort of good ID that would get him access to what most people took for granted. What _he_ used to take for granted.

6 and a half hours into his second shift, and he felt like he was dying. He pulled out his phone to check the time yet again. The store was empty, but it was open for another few hours. He could count the customers he’d had since 8 PM on his fingers. He hated these days, when he was called in to work another shift on a day he was already scheduled because the owner had fucked up the scheduling. Luckily it only happened a few times a month, but it was grueling. Especially since he usually had to get up and go to work again just a few hours later. This time he was lucky that he was working an evening shift the next day, and could sleep in and not wake up at five tomorrow. If he hadn't been able to get the few extra hours of sleep he would have been at risk of crying.

Time passed by slowly, dragging on until it was finally one minute till closing. He was counting the seconds, staring intently at his phone. Just as the counter changed to 23:00 he heard the doors open and the bell chiming. He stifled a groan and got his best (but oh so tired) customer service smile on. “Good evening! What can I do for-”

The person was at least clearly of age, but there was so much beer stacked next to the register that he felt like he was going to pass out. Especially when the man opened one of the cans right in front of him, before having even paid for a single one of the cans. 

He scanned the cans as fast as he could, without meeting the man’s eyes. He was way too tired for this.

\----

The next morning he woke up to the blessed sound of only his cat. The meows were as loud as ever at 5 in the morning, but once she had gotten her breakfast she was right by his side, purring into his ear as he fell back asleep.

\----

He woke up again at 9, not feeling rested but much better than before he went back to sleep at five. Since he had another 6 hours ahead of him before he had to go to work, he decided to go to the gym. It was something he had gotten into the habit of doing at least once a week, having figured out it was a good way to fake looking healthier, and after he got himself a proper (half) life again, it had stuck. Besides, it was a good way to keep in shape in case his brothers found out he was alive and he had to run. He was always prepared to run; a bag packed with some clothes and cans of food both for him and Cheeseburger, and the cat always seemed to like it when they went somewhere in the cage. She was a little weirdo, but at least she was cute.

He jogged to the gym as warmup, the spring in the air finally arriving and allowing him to shed the winter coat he had bought second hand almost nine years ago. He really needed to get a new one for next winter; the thing was falling apart. 

The gym was mostly empty, and he went into the changing room to change. The place was usually more crowded in the afternoons, so he always preferred to come in the morning. He usually came earlier, but after so many hours of work, he really needed that extra sleep.

He made quick work of changing his clothes, too self-conscious of his scars to want anyone to get a good look. He’d never had any good luck with the boyfriends or girlfriends he’d made through the gym anyway, so the less view anyone got of his body the better.

Jun couldn’t help staring at the built brunette by the treadmills though; he only saw him from behind, but the man had been running on it for 20 minutes now. He wasn’t all that tall (Jun might even think he was taller by a little bit) but what he lacked in stature he made up for in muscles. He’d always had a thing for legs, and he might have lost himself in them had he not forced himself to get back to his workout. The next time he looked over, the man was gone.

\----

Washing himself up and getting changed was a whole affair. There were no private stalls to shower in, so trying to keep from getting stared at too much was a hassle. At least he didn’t have as much hair anymore, so washing it was a lot quicker. It was the only pro to have cut it off. He was just pulling on his non-sweaty shirt over his head when he heard a voice he hadn’t heard in years.

“Manjoume?! Holy crap, what’re you doing here?!”

Jun froze. No one had called him by his real name in almost a decade, and the first thought that popped into his head was that he’d been found out by his brothers, and was now going to die. He turned around, eyes wide as he was face to face with the built brunette. It was Yuuki fucking Juudai.


	3. Ghosts in the photograph

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun and Juudai talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is from the song “Take me somewhere nice” by Mogwai.

Silence stretched as Jun and Juudai stared at each other. The other people in the changing room paid them no attention, but Jun felt like needles were pricking his skin all over with unwanted attention. It wasn’t til Juudai opened his mouth to continue speaking, only getting a “Manj--” when he snapped out of it, covering his former classmate’s mouth with his hand and hissing “shut up!” at the brunette. Juudai blinked at him in confusion, but stayed silent for the moment while Jun continued to silently speak so no one could hear. “Just get dressed and we can talk when we get out of here.”

Juudai still looked like he had no idea what was going on, but he nodded and Jun finally dared take his hand away and adjust his shirt that was half on. He could only hope Juudai hadn’t noticed the big ugly scar in the middle of his abdomen, but he didn’t have high hopes. Even though he had missed the man (though he wouldn’t admit that out loud), he didn’t look forward to having this conversation.

\---

It was almost time for lunch by the time they were both getting out of the run down gym and out into the early spring sun, but Jun didn’t really have the budget to go out to eat, and he really didn’t feel like taking Juudai back to his apartment just like that. But apparently Juudai was well stocked and pulled stuff out of his pockets, happily sharing some pre packed sandwiches and a bottle of ramune he’d had in his jacket pockets. The pockets on his jacket and pants were unnecessarily big, in Jun’s opinion, but pointing it out helped distract the other from why they’d sat down on a park bench in the first place for a few moments longer.

Sadly the distractions came to an end when Juudai pointed out how they hadn’t seen each other in years, and the questions kept raining down on him. He had to take a few steadying breaths while looking up at the cold blue sky before he started to talk about things he’d never told anyone before.

“My brothers think I’m dead. They shot me and threw me off a cliff.”

He’d already been prepared for the outburst, and managed to cover his former friend’s mouth before he could yell a surprised reply. “Shut up,” he hissed again, “no one in this town knows any of this so if you could  _ not _ scream so everyone can hear!?” He stared right into Juudai’s eyes until the man nodded. Jun removed his hands but made sure to be ready in case he needed to do it again.

“Obviously the cliff wasn’t high enough to kill me and they’re shitty shots, so I’m still alive, but I can’t exactly go back there. They’re in a lot of cops’ and yakuzas’ pockets, nothing’d happen to them without concrete proof and they’d just make sure I’m gone for good next time.”

When Juudai opened his mouth he was ready to cover it up again, but this time the response was lower, in a voice that was shaky with how unsettled the revelation seemed to have made him. “Holy shit Manjoume, that’s so fucked up.” Looking back into the sky again, eyes tracing the rare shape of a cloud dotting the blue, Jun sighed.

“My name’s Tanaka Haruki now, don’t call me Manjoume. If anyone I know hears you they’re gonna get suspicious.”

He felt Juudai shift next to him, and glancing to the side he could see the other man watching him, a painful look in his eyes. “That name doesn’t suit you at all.” The comment made Jun snort, lips twitching upwards. “That’s kind of the point.”

“I guess it makes sense now why you didn’t show up to the reunion last week.”

“Yeah.”

They fell into an awkward silence after that, Jun staring at the sky and Juudai alternating between staring at him and staring at the ground. After a few minutes, Juudai finally spoke up again, confirming what Jun hoped he would have missed. “So that scar on your stomach… that was them, right?”

“They got me in the leg and shoulder too. Winter’s a bitch, the cold makes it hard to walk properly.” To get the focus off himself for a minute, he did what he would rarely have done when they were together at school; asked Juudai a question in return. “I thought you’d have left Japan by now. You never seem to stay in one place for long anymore.”

“You’ve been keeping track of us?” Jun nodded, and Juudai continued. “I’m exploring Japan right now, Rei and Martin are getting married in two months so I’m gonna stay in the country til then and just go hitchhike and stuff. It’s been pretty exciting.” Juudai grinned at him, obvious in how fun he’d had since he came back to Japan.

“You’re the only one still hitchhiking anymore, you know that, right? That’s how you get killed.”

And there Jun went and ruined the mood that had finally started to lift again. Of course. He felt like a dumbass, but there wasn’t really anything new about that. He just wasn’t used to feeling like one in front of Juudai anymore.

The smile dulled on the brunette’s face as he was reminded of why they were there. “So, uh… What’ve you been doing here all this time, then?”

Jun groaned, thinking back to the day before. “Conbini. Worked 16 hours yesterday, I almost wish I’d actually died so I didn’t have to deal with that again.”

He could feel Juudai’s stare as the other man got closer. “Hey, don’t say that, do you have any idea how much we’ve all missed you?!” Jun just rolled his eyes this time. “Joking about it’s been what helped me stay sane, so I doubt I’ll stop doing it any time soon. Geez, be more like Cheeseburger, she doesn’t complain when I do it.”

“Cheeseburger?”

“My cat.”

“You have a cat?!” Finally, Juudai’s eyes were back to the shiny, enthusiastic self that had been such a big part of drawing so many people into his orbit at Duel Academy. It made Jun’s heart skip a beat, and he had to look away. God, he’d been so annoyed by the other all the time at school, but here he was and all his feelings of longing for his friends came rushing at him at once.

“Yeah, for a few years now.”

“Can I meet her?” He should have expected that. Juudai had gotten along well with Pharaoh after all. Of course he’d want to meet Cheeseburger. Was he ready to let Juudai into his apartment though? His loneliness was yelling ‘YES’ at the top of its lungs inside him, but his nerves were more hesitant. In the end though, he couldn’t stop himself from nodding.

“Sure.”


	4. We hate to think about the good times that we missed out on while staying in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juudai, meet Cheeseburger. Cheeseburger, meet Juudai.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my cats insisted on sitting on my throat as I wrote the whole chapter this time.
> 
> The chapter title is from "Stay Happy" by Au/Ra.

It was with a loudly beating heart and the sound of blood rushing in his ears that he unlocked his front door and invited Juudai inside. The man looked around curiously, until he was distracted by a loud meow and an orange cat hopping her way to them and stroking her side against Jun’s side as he greeted her, before turning her attention to the stranger in their midst. She was a very friendly cat despite the misfortune that had befallen her in her early life, and she padded right on over to Juudai’s outstretched hand, sniffing it before rubbing against it. Juudai grinned from ear to ear at the affections, scratching her behind her ears, cooing at her as she purred up a storm.

Jun decided to go put his gym clothes in the hamper while he let the two get acquainted, filling up Cheeseburger’s water bowl as he passed it on the way back to the front door. “You two gonna sit there all afternoon or what? I need to make food.”

Juudai looked at him as he stood up, happy cat in his arms. “Want any help?” He didn’t really need any help, but it’d been ages since anyone offered to help him (his latest ex hadn’t exactly been the most helpful) so he felt kind of off balance. He already did from meeting someone from his past, but he also knew he was starved for company that wasn’t a customer being shitty toward him, so he nodded his agreement. “You can cut the vegetables, I guess.” If he remembered correctly, Juudai hadn’t really been a great cook, but neither had he, so things could change.

Things fell into a comfortable silence, only broken by the low sound of the music on the radio and the occasional comment on where to find things in the kitchen. He hadn’t felt so relaxed around anyone in years, and it felt conflicting, because Jun knew that Juudai showing up in his life meant that things were inevitably going to change. There was no way Juudai would be able to keep this information from his friends forever, and really, did Jun want this life for himself forever? Of course he didn’t, but it wasn’t til he was faced with someone so close knitted to his past that he was faced with how much he had given up on everything. What was he going to do now? He was completely lost. The silence got a little bit more uncomfortable after that.

-

They ate together in silence, Juudai seeming to have gotten a bit better at social cues and figured out that Jun needed time to think. The brunette himself seemed to be thinking things over as well, judging by the look on his face as he watched Jun out of the corner of his eye, thinking Jun hadn’t noticed. It wasn’t until they were doing the dishes that either of them finally spoke up.

“So uh,” Juudai started as he handed Jun the clean pot to towel dry, “you know I gotta tell the others that I found you, right? I can’t  _ not  _ tell them when they bring you up. And we kinda do that a lot. Think about you, I mean.”

Jun was silent as he dried off the pot and put it away in its rightful place, uncertain about how to proceed. “Yeah, I know.” It made his heart ache, knowing that they still thought about him, even though they hadn’t heard anything from him in so many years. He’d seen his name come up maybe once or twice on their instagrams, but it had been very rare to see it there, and he’d thought they might have forgotten about him by this point. “Tell Tenjouin-san that I’m sorry I missed his wedding.” It felt awkward remembering the time he had spent calling the man ‘shishou’, but he also remembered the man fondly. He’d been odd but a great friend all that time ago. It had hurt seeing that Fubuki had wanted him to be his best man along with Asuka being his best woman but he’d been unable to find him. Apparently when he got in contact with Jun’s brothers they’d told him that he was abroad somewhere but never given any specifics and refused to give him his phone number, claiming he didn’t want to talk to him. The reasons had been obvious to Jun, but Fubuki would have had no clue. Jun had looked at the videos and pictures from when Fubuki and Ryo got married thousands of times.

“You wanna call one of them together? I talk to them all the time.”

“I don’t know. I’ll think about it.”

-

Time passed pretty easily after that, focusing on other things than the inevitable conversations with their high school friends. Juudai played with Cheeseburger and went through the books Jun had in his rickety bookshelf while Jun read the one he was currently working on, until the time finally came for Jun to get ready for work. Juudai got up from where he too had started reading, Cheeseburger grumbling at her seat going away, and he followed Jun to the door, picking up his oversized backpack.

Jun uncertainly looked at him, emotions rolling around in his stomach as he watched the man put on his jacket and shoes. “You can… stay here while I’m at work.” Juudai looked up from his shoelaces in surprise, but the other continued before he could say anything; “Cheeseburger would get mad at you if you didn’t.”

What a poor excuse. But he was stupid with loneliness, and he didn’t want the man to go away. He was worried it’d be another ten years before he had any sort of meaningful contact with anyone he cared about again. He felt the shame burn on his cheeks, and he instantly wanted to take the words back.  _ What if he said no?  _

Juudai rubbed the back of his head in a gesture that was so familiar it sent a pang of longing for the past through Jun’s heart. “I wouldn’t wanna make Cheeseburger mad.”

-

Work was stressful. It was the weekend, so a lot of people came to buy snacks, drinks and trashfood. It didn’t help that his mind was filled with the thoughts of what Juudai was doing alone in his apartment. Was he talking to the others? What if he left anyway?

Closing down the store and cleaning before being able to go home had never felt so torturous before.

\--

When he came back home around midnight he was expecting the apartment to be empty, but he was met with the lights on, and Juudai singing along with the music. The song was one he wasn’t familiar with, with an upbeat tune in a foreign language, making it obvious that Juudai was listening to something on his phone. Jun was greeted by Cheeseburger before going into the kitchen where the sounds were coming from.

Juudai was wearing his apron and cooking something in the oven, something else bubbling in the pot. It smelled like curry. Since when did he have the ingredients to make curry?

“You’re home! I’m almost done with dinner!” The phone beeped, signaling a timer going off, and Juudai pulled bread out of the oven. “I just heated the bread, but I made the curry myself. I’ve actually learned how to do a crapton of cooking while travelling, it’s one of my favourite things about it.”

“I don’t remember having any of this stuff except the rice…”

“I went shopping. Cheeseburger told me to.” That little rascal. Blaming the cat because he would have known it would have embarrassed Jun if he said it was because the fridge was almost empty. And most of the time, an embarrassed Jun was a loud Jun.

“...I’ll accept it cus Cheeseburger told you to.”

Juudai’s smile was blinding.


	5. I can’t carry this anymore, heavy from the hurt inside my veins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juudai shows off his cooking skills and a decision is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for a brief mention of suicidal ideation toward the end of the chapter, but it’s very brief.
> 
> “I can’t carry this anymore” by Anson Seabra
> 
> I keep forgetting if I updated on a sunday or a monday, cus those are the days I don't work.

Thankfully, Jun didn’t need to ask Juudai to stay the night. The man fell asleep on the couch where they had been watching TV on Jun’s computer after only 45 minutes. Jun had the next day off, and even though he was tired and should go to bed, he sat on the other end of the couch, curled up with Cheeseburger in his lap, watching the other sleep while he thought.

He didn’t know what to do with this situation. He’d spent the last decade all alone, no one from when he was Manjoume Jun knowing where he was or how he was doing, and now they would find out everything. Juudai had given him all of their numbers, so he could contact them himself, but had said that if he wanted to call any of them together, he would be there for him. Did this mean he wanted to call them tomorrow? Or was he planning on staying around or at least in contact with him after this? Would Juudai go back to travelling again tomorrow? The man had hardly stayed still since they graduated and had seen so many places in the world at this point, it would be odd for him to stay long in once place at this point.

He buried his face in Cheeseburger’s fur and suppressed a groan of frustration. Could his head just fucking stop, for once, that’d be great.

Sleep didn’t get to him til the sun started to rise.

-

Juudai hadn’t been lying when he said he really liked cooking now. Jun was woken up by the scent of pancakes and a distinct lack of a yelling cat; she had clearly been distracted by the man in the tiny kitchen, waiting for him to drop something. Juudai was quietly humming in an attempt at not waking Jun up too early, which he definitely appreciated. He was surprised enough that Juudai’s snores hadn’t woken him up. He definitely didn’t remember it wrong when he thought back to how loud he did that back in high school.

Jun stretched as he got up, his body aching from sleeping on the couch. His shoulder hated him when he moved the limb, and he flinched at the pain. He would have to remember never to fall asleep sitting up on the couch again, but for now he was lucky he didn’t have to work until tomorrow morning. He’d have time for the worst of the pain to go away.

“You gotta stop buying me food.” Juudai startled, turning around to face him with a huge smile. His clothes were rumpled from sleeping in them and his hair was a mess, but he clearly didn’t care.

“Good morning! The cat god demanded sacrifice.” That made Jun actually snort, and he had to turn away to hide that he too was smiling at the dumb joke. “She woke me up early and you slept right through her, so I found her food and gave her some. How’d you do that?”

“Practice from tuning out your snoring when we were roommates.” That made Juudai laugh and he flipped the pancakes in the pan. “Breakfast is ready in just a few minutes. I got berries too, they’re under the bowl over there.” He pointed out an upturned bowl on the kitchen counter next to the microwave.

It wasn’t enough time to shower, so Jun decided to clear off the kitchen table. He rarely used it, so it was filled with books and various items that didn’t really have their own place. There was even a DVD out of its case that he still hadn’t found after he and his latest ex had their big blowout that ended with the neighbour threatening to call the cops on them. That had finally gotten his pissed off boyfriend to leave, even though Jun wasn’t the one caught cheating. In  _ Jun’s _ apartment no less. Disgusting. It was a wonder the DVD was still intact after that fight; he’d had to repair and throw out several things after that night. He put the DVD in his bookshelf for now, before setting the table. The whole situation felt terribly domestic and ridiculously out of place to him at the same time.

Just as he put a jug of water on the table, Juudai put the last pancake on the pile and turned off the stove. They sat down together, Cheeseburger curling up at Jun’s feet, warming his toes. Breakfast was spent with mostly Juudai talking, giving Jun a rundown of what he and everyone else had done, Jun chiming in once or twice when it was something he’d seen posted on instagram and could still remember. It was nice, even though Jun had to eat pretty slowly with how his shoulder hurt whenever he had to use the knife. He’d have to start stretching in the mornings again for a while.

They did the dishes together again, and this time Juudai insisted on doing the drying so he could see how well he remembered where things went from last night. He did pretty well, honestly.

It was after they’d both showered and Jun had changed his clothes (Juudai didn’t change his, like the hooligan he was) that things got awkward. Jun was staring at his phone the whole time Juudai was in the shower, to the point that he didn’t notice the other man come back into the joint living room/bedroom.

“What’re you thinking about?” Jun startled as Juudai sat down next to him on the floor where he’d lied down on his back, staring at the device in his hand, the contact info for Fubuki open on the screen. He shut the screen down and put it next to himself, scratching Cheeseburger on her chin absently. “I don’t know what to tell them. It was easier with you since I was ambushed into it, but now I’ve got to choose who to contact, and how to tell them what happened without it getting back to my brothers somehow. What if they tell the cops?” He’d never have talked so openly about this back in high school, but now he couldn’t stop himself. It had been so long with nothing but him and his thoughts spinning around in his head like a never ending nightmare.

Jun heard a coo above him and to the side, and when he turned his head, Winged Kuriboh was hovering between the two friends with a concerned little look in his eyes. Juudai was looking at him with a similar look on his face, before he lied down next to him on the floor on his side, eyes still on him. “You know several of our friends have just as many contacts as your brothers do. Edo knows  _ Kaiba _ now, we’d totally be able to protect you.” Winged Kuriboh cooed in agreement, putting a little paw on Jun’s forehead.

“I can take care of myself. I’ve managed so far.”

“But are you happy?” When Jun med Juudai’s eyes the feeling was soul crushing. Of course he wasn’t happy. He’d joked about wishing he’d died if he’d have known what his life would be like now, right in front of Juudai. And Juudai knew he wasn’t happy. He was just… getting more and more depressed with no way to get out of it without risking everything. He’d tried so hard to make sure to stay hidden that he didn’t really know who he was anymore. He didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to handle going like this; day in and day out just waiting for the other shoe to drop, being terrified. There had been several times when he’d been close to just ending it all.

He knew he couldn’t go on like this for another ten years.

Jun rolled to his side, forcing himself not to curl into a ball, instead settling with making sure Juudai couldn’t see the expression on his face. And with the smallest voice Juudai had ever heard come out of the other man, whispered ‘okay’.


	6. Staying up 'til sunrise and hoping shit is okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very difficult call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is from the song "all the kids are depressed" by Jeremy Zucker.

Saying that he wanted to come back was easier said than done. He wanted it with every fibre of his body, but the thought of facing his brothers again terrified him to his very core. Juudai told him that they didn’t need to rush, though he told Jun he knew Rei would’ve wanted him at her wedding, and so a deadline was (loosely) set. They didn’t need to solve everything until then, as that would probably be impossible, but they would try to at least get to the point where Jun could attend.

They had to start with a phone call though.

It had taken a long time for Jun to decide who they were going to call, but in the end they landed on Asuka. Even though Jun had considered calling Fubuki first, the man had a tendency to be overwhelming. The one who was the best choice, and would have the most practical advice to give, was probably Asuka. Taking steadying breaths as he sat on the couch, cat on his lap, Jun watched Juudai scroll to her in the contact app. His fingers dug into the worn fabric of the furniture he’d found next to a dumpster, tearing into the stuffing. Silently, Juudai slipped his hand underneath Jun’s and entwined his fingers with the other’s. Jun was torn about ripping his hand away or not, but ultimately needed the comfort of warm skin against his palm, the pads of Juudai’s fingertips rubbing gently against the back of his hand. “Ready?” he asked, and Jun slowly nodded.

Juudai pressed the call button.

-

It took about three signals for Asuka to pick up, giving plenty of time for the brunette to hit the speaker button and putting the phone down on the table in front of them. The moment Asuka’s voice was heard, Jun felt like he was going to throw up, and he felt his eyes get glassy with the sound of her familiar voice.  _ “Hey Juudai, why’re you calling me so early?” _

Juudai glanced to where Jun was folding in on himself, Cheeseburger having jumped off his lap and settled next to him when she felt like she was going to get squished. Juudai’s thumb ran smoothly across Jun’s skin in steady motions as he watched tears silently fall from his friend’s eyes. He moved so he met Jun’s eyes, a question in his own. He didn’t answer Asuka until Jun gave a small nod to continue. 

“So you know how Fubuki told us Manjoume’s brothers said he didn’t want to talk to any of us anymore?”

_ “Yeah, it made my brother really upset. Why’re you bringing it up now?” _ Juudai heard Jun’s breath hitch at the reminder of how sad it had made Fubuki, the sound of Asuka asking if she was on speaker almost drowning it out.

“That was a lie. I found him yesterday. He’s been hiding from  _ them _ , not us.”

_ “What do you mean?” _

Jun held on tighter to Juudai’s hand, cutting the other off from responding as he tried to talk himself. His voice cracked at the first word, and he had to clear his throat, making Cheeseburger meow in response, but for once, she went unheard, blood rushing in Jun’s ears. “They- They tried to murder me… n-nine years ago… I’ve been hiding ever since…” He felt pathetic at the waver in his own voice, and he rubbed his face aggressively to make himself stop crying.

Juudai just kept on moving his thumb across the back of his hand, listening to Asuka’s shocked response.  _ “What?! Is this- are you serious?! Why the hell would they do that?!” _

“Yeah,” Juudai continued, noticing that Jun had temporarily lost his nerve. He gave him a moment to collect himself, helping Jun relay what he’d been told the day before. “Apparently they got in with the yakuza or something and they wanted to shut Manjoume up. I ran into him by accident and he’s told me everything. We need you and the other’s help so he can come back and not have a name that’s totally weird for him.”

That actually made Jun laugh, right in the middle of what was a quiet sob turned into a weird mixture of a sob and a laugh. Jun fell to the side, leaning against Juudai’s side. It felt comforting but strange to be so physically open with someone, especially with Juudai. But it helped. “That’s your priority…? You’re ridiculous, slacker.”

Juudai had never smiled so brightly at hearing that old nickname before. “His last name is  _ Tanaka _ now, Asuka. Tanaka! That’s what’s ridiculous! We gotta help him, man!”

There was a stunned silence where Asuka was clearly processing all the information. Juudai easily let the silence last as long as she needed, as it also helped Jun calm down, still leaning against his side, hand still in Juudai’s, tears slowly coming to a stop.

_ “If we’re going to do this,” _ Asuka started, and it was a relief to Jun to hear her on board. No matter what Juudai had said, he had been worried. What if they didn’t think he was worth the trouble? Because it was going to be a lot of trouble, there was no way around that.  _ “We need a solid plan. We need to get as much evidence as we can, get all the facts straight, and if we can, see if anyone working near your brothers are willing to go to court for us. So, um… Manjoume, can you tell me exactly what they did? I’m sorry if it’s hard to talk about it, but we have to go over anything we can. We need to be as ready as possible before we go to the police.” _

“They’re in at least a dozen cops pockets, I don’t know if we can just… do that,” Jun confessed. Juudai already knew, but it was hard to tell it again in such a short time after never having spoken about it at all before. “It’s why I didn’t do anything to try and come back for so long.”

_ “Shit… Okay, after you give me all the details and info I’ll talk to a few of our friends and start making a plan. We’ll have a video call in a few days and work more on it with you. I have to get ready for work soon, but I’ll contact them throughout the day to meet at my place tonight. So, tell me everything.”  _ It was weird hearing her curse, but it helped to keep him from spiralling entirely, if he tried to focus on that instead.

-

After the phone call ended, Asuka had Juudai send her photos of Jun’s scars. Jun was extremely uncomfortable throughout the whole time he stood half naked in front of the other man, knowing the pictures would be shown to all his high school friends. 

As soon as they were done Jun wrapped himself up in his thickest and biggest blankets, shivering from how tense his body had been ever since they first called Asuka. 

Carefully, Juudai got onto the bed next to him, cupping Jun’s cheeks in his hands to get him to meet his eyes. “You did amazing. Don’t worry, Asuka’s gonna get everything ready, and then we’ll figure out what to do.” Jun put his hands on Juudai’s to remove them, but the only thing he managed was to squeeze them tighter against his cheeks. He felt drained in a way he hadn’t in a really long time, and was torn on whether he was allowed to feel hopeful or not. “They might just kill all of us… They don’t care…”

“They can’t kill all of us without someone noticing. Edo works for Kaiba and Hayato works for Pegasus, they would definitely notice.” After a moment of thought, Juudai wrapped his arms around the cocoon that was his friend, holding him close. “It’s gonna be fine. Trust me.”

Jun wanted to, so badly.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killing time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't decide on a song, oops. Also, off topic but on my brain right now; train your dogs, I got some major scratches while my cat Kalma and I were out on our daily walk because a dog tried to go after him.

They spent hours like that, curled up together on the bed, Juudai’s arms around Jun. At some point they had to get up to eat, and Asuka texted Juudai to let them know that her and their friends were meeting at her place at 5 this evening. It felt strange but reassuring to have her in charge. She’d come a long way since high school, and was now in charge of a lot of people at her own company that she ran with Ryo, so she knew how to run things smoothly, even if this was a brand new situation. Her presence, even if only through the phone, helped.

Juudai dragged Jun out of the apartment with the promise to treat him to a late lunch or early dinner. Or, as Juudai called it, dinch. It made Jun roll his eyes and tell him that it sounded like he was just trying to be sneaky about calling someone a bitch. It had Juudai cackling, Jun cracking a smile as Juudai held him by the hand until he was sure Jun wouldn’t ditch him. 

He took him to a quiet ramen place, where only one other customer was as they got there. Jun rarely ate out, but he had passed by the little restaurant many times during his stay in the town.

Juudai showed him pictures of places he’d gone to and forgotten to upload to instagram, while Jun showed him his favourite pictures of Cheeseburger and random pictures he’d taken throughout the years. There weren’t a lot of them, since his phone was pretty shitty and didn’t have a lot of space, but it was enough to keep them occupied while they waited for their food.

While they ate, they kept catching each other glancing at one another, Jun pretending like nothing when Juudai grinned widely at him between bites. He told himself that the redness of his cheeks were due to the heat of the food, nothing else.

The conversation ran smoothly, talking about everything between heaven and earth. Juudai had to stop himself a few times to make sure he didn’t use Jun’s real name while they were out, but other than that there weren’t any real hiccups. 

By the time they were done, there was about an hour and a half left till Asuka was meeting up with the others, and Jun was getting jittery. Was it a surprise that he was questioning the decision he’d made to get everyone involved? Of course not. He was getting more and more stressed out the more time passed, and while eating and talking about things that weren’t serious had been great to keep his mind off things for a while, it was coming back with a vengeance now. Juudai seemed to notice, and with a smile on his face, said that they should go see a movie. Jun questioned it, but it was a decent suggestion, really. He hadn’t been to see a movie in years at this point.

By the time they got into their seats the thought hit him that this felt a lot like a date. It wasn’t one, but once upon a time he  _ had _ crushed on Juudai, but so had practically everyone else at school, and if he’d been ten years younger he would have exploded with how fast the blood would have gone to his face. As it was now, he felt his cheeks grow hot, but it seemed to slip past Juudai’s notice. They weren’t even holding hands on the way there, get over it. He wasn’t 16 anymore, what the fuck, feelings, stop remembering things that had made the brunette go from just an annoyance to someone he had sickly sweet dreams about at night.

It was just his loneliness talking, he reminded himself. Juudai was the first person in many years that he’d been reunited with, and so what if he was really good at comforting people and telling them exactly what they needed in a stressful situation these days. And things had been really stressful today, and it wouldn’t get any easier any time soon.

The movie was a dumb romantic comedy that didn’t take much energy to watch but was engaging enough to make him forget his problems for 90 minutes. Jun had never told anyone due to the mockery from his brothers, but he really loved movies like these. They were cheesy and fluffy and the drama was rarely as high stakes as the movie thought it was, and it was extra good if the movie took itself seriously while being ridiculous.

Juudai, ever the heathen, had taken his shoes off and gotten comfortable in the seat next to him, encouraging Jun to do the same. Of course, Jun had some semblance of manners (sometimes) and decidedly didn’t, but only complained about Juudai’s lack of manners mildly, making Juudai guffaw and the lady behind them to tell them to shut up when the ads ended.

-

They walked back to the apartment when the movie ended, a text arriving almost at the same time they got to greet Cheeseburger, Asuka telling them that the others were arriving soon and that she’d keep them updated on how it went. To distract himself for as long as possible, Jun decided to start preparing tomorrow’s lunch. It was going to be another early shift, and Juudai let Asuka know that Jun had to get up at 5 so if her talk runs long, text rather than call. He’d put his sound on vibrate once they went to bed.

After that was done, Jun was at a loss. He sat down next to Juudai on the couch, who was sitting with a happily purring cat on his chest, legs dangling over the edge of the couch while reading a book he’d picked off Jun’s bookshelf after the raven had told him to leave him alone in the kitchen. He’d just… needed some time alone. He’d been relieved when Juudai had given him the space he needed.

Jun stared up at the ceiling. Maybe he should clean it, it was pretty dirty. Then again, he’d tried that when he moved in, and no matter how hard he’d tried it wouldn’t come out. The white was permanently stained and the only way to get it clean was to paint it again. And he was  _ not _ going to spend his money on something that stupid. When he was younger he would’ve just paid someone to do it for him, but those days were long gone now. If he was honest with himself, he didn’t exactly miss that part of his previous life. He’d spent money to fill a hole in his heart that material goods could never really fill. He did miss not having to worry about food though.

He let out a sigh that could be felt all the way through his head to his toes, and slid further down his seat. Juudai didn’t say anything, but he felt the shift of his head against his thigh. Absently, he ran his fingers through the brunette’s hair, as big and poofy as it had been in high school. At least some things stayed the same.

Juudai shifted, putting the book down as Jun brushed through the knots in his hair. A few minutes were spent like that, until Juudai’s phone pinged with a message, predictably from Asuka. Surprisingly enough it wasn’t a question, but her telling Juudai to give Jun her brother’s number, and call him when he was ready. After telling her that it’d already been done, Jun stood up, and while he could feel Juudai and Cheeseburger both watching him, he ignored them, heading straight to the bed. He curled up underneath the blankets, staring at his phone screen, back to where he had been not that many hours ago, before anyone but Juudai knew about his situation.

He should call Fubuki. But even though it was barely seven at night, he was mentally exhausted, and had no clue what he would even say. Would the older man be mad? Probably not at him, now that he knew what was going on and why he’d been out of contact with them for so long, but… what would he do? The man had been one of the more emotional out of his friends, even though he was extremely smart academically. Emotions like Fubuki’s would probably make him spiral when he was feeling like this, and then he’d be an utter mess in the morning.

He felt the bed dip, and given that it was too much to be his cat, he knew it was Juudai.

“You don’t have to call him tonight, I’m sure he’ll understand.” The sound was muffled but carried enough through the thick blankets he’d collected over the years. He moved around til his head popped out of them, looking tiredly at his friend.

“I know that already. I just… ugh.” He didn’t even know how to explain it to Juudai at the moment, but the other just smiled at him.

“I cleaned Cheeseburger’s litter box, you can go to sleep if you want.” Jun nodded slowly, hesitating as Juudai got up to go back to the couch to sleep there tonight, just like the night before.

“Wait--” Juudai stopped, looking over at him. “You can… sleep in here if you want. The bed’s big enough.”

The smile he got in reply was the softest smile he’d ever seen on Juudai’s face. “Okay.”


	8. could we go home?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Preparations and a phone call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is from the song "I know a place" by Conan Gray. I know that a particular line is generic but listen to the song, it's beautiful. Also, I got all the items on the animal crossing egg event yoooo
> 
> Credit for the idea for part of this chapter goes to a comment left by Vanitas. Thank you<3

When Jun awoke it wasn’t to his alarm or his cat screaming. In fact, he was warm and comfortable, in a way he hadn’t been in more years than he’d been in hiding, and woke up slowly. First he noted the tickle of fur against his neck, where Cheeseburger was snuggled against him, purring gently against his ear. Strong arms were wrapped around his waist, a face pressed against his chest. It was Juudai, of course, legs entwined with Jun’s under the many layers of the cocoon he’d made himself last night.

Surprisingly, he didn’t get the start of a racing heart nor the need to yell at him to mind his space, like he would have if this had happened when they were younger. Instead he kept his breathing even, burying his nose in Juudai’s hair. They’d spent a lot of the day with Juudai’s arms around him while he was in mental agony, so this was a change that soothed him. 

He glanced at his phone screen, holding in a groan when he realised he forgot to plug it in last night. He’d have to try and sneak his charger into work today and hope his boss didn’t notice him using one of their outlets. The man was annoyingly cheap with letting his employees do things that would cost him extra, even though he himself would use up a ton of electricity when it wasn’t needed. He had a good twenty minutes before his alarm went off, so he put it back down behind Juudai where he’d found it, and relaxed back into the embrace. He couldn’t see much of the other’s face from where it was buried against his chest, but he could hear the rumbles of his snores, feeling them against his body. It made him roll his eyes at the familiarity of that certain aspect of the situation, stifling a smile, even though no one was looking.

-

Just shy of twenty minutes later, right before the alarm went off, Cheeseburger started to climb all over them, meowing loudly. Jun disentangled himself from Juudai before the man could wake up, turning the alarm off ahead of time and petting his cat as he stood up. He’d fallen asleep in his regular clothes, and grimaced at the stiffness of his body. Even if he’d been comfortable while sleeping, he always felt off in the mornings. That’s what happens when you’re not medically trained and have to heal three bullet wounds on your own.

He was in the middle of stretching when he noticed Juudai was looking at him, the brunette giving him a cheeky smile when he realised he’d been caught looking. “I like your bed hair.”

Jun rolled his eyes, and didn’t bother stifling any groans this time. “It’s too early for you to mess with me. I haven’t even had coffee yet.”

Juudai sat up, still smiling ear to ear. “I’m not messing with you, I mean it. It’s cute.” Jun felt his cheeks heat up, and he turned his back to him to go give Cheeseburger her well deserved wet food.

“If you want any breakfast you better get your ass out of bed in the next thirty seconds.”

-

Jun left Juudai in his apartment, handing him the spare key this time. The last time he’d let anyone have it hadn’t gone so well (that cheating ex came to mind), but he highly doubted Juudai would do anything like that, especially not right now. Bring anyone over to sleep with, not cheating, since they weren’t together. Even if his old crush had decided to rear its ugly head after all these years.

He spent the first few hours at work alone, managing to charge his phone fully before his boss arrived to do whatever the hell he did in the back room no one was allowed to bother him in when he was there. It was just an office, but it was strictly forbidden to enter when the owner was there. Whatever. He had his mind filled with thoughts on what to even say to Fubuki, and what to do now. If everything was going to come out, there was no way he was staying here. He should quit his job here, but at the same time, it was a safety to have it. He knew there was no way he would get an extended amount of time off though, not when he wouldn’t be able to tell his boss  _ why _ he needed it. He knew that in the end, he needed to quit. Not that it was a hard decision to make, considering how much he hated it here.

The thought of leaving his apartment was harder though. It was the first place he’d gotten on his own, and he cared for it even if it was shitty, rundown and owned by a shady landlady. But he knew he couldn’t stay in this town for much longer. Now that he was in contact with people from his past, and they were going to enter his life again, he longed to be back with them even more than he had before. Not all of them lived in the same city, but he knew at least Asuka, Ryo and Fubuki lived close to each other, what with business enterprises and marriages and what not. He didn’t know where Juudai lived when he wasn’t travelling, but he knew Kenzan and Sho were roommates and lived somewhere that wasn’t too far away from Asuka, given how often Sho updated instagram where he was hanging out with her. They seemed to have gotten really close after high school, but it didn’t seem like they were dating. If anything, Sho might actually have something going on with Kenzan, which feels weird but isn’t extremely surprising if he got it right.

On to the matter at hand though… given that he had no proper contract for either apartment nor job, moving out and quitting wouldn’t come with a lot of stipulations. They didn’t have any bank account to automatically charge him with, nor did they know his real name to try to find one any time soon. If things went badly, he’d be dead for real anyway.

Should he even bother to write a letter of resignation or was it enough to just tell the owner that he was quitting? He didn’t want to leave the rest of the staff to just get sudden shifts out of nowhere though (he had learned some consideration after working a job like this) so he would at least finish the shifts he’d already been scheduled for. Which, he realised, was only two more days, since the owner liked keeping them on their toed anyway. So, that left him with two more shifts at this place, and a lot to plan. The next time he saw the owner he’d make sure to talk to him.

-

Turns out there were no more shifts to work, because the owner’s response to Jun’s “I need to quit” was a prompt “you can’t quit, you’re fired!” It truly felt like something his brothers would say. He’d been told to finish his shift and never come back again. He doubted he’d get his last paycheck at this point. Well. The last letter with cash in it, anyway. What a control freak. He’d probably crash and burn some day.

-

When he got off work, he knew he needed to call Fubuki. He still didn’t have a clue as to what to tell him, but the longer he waited, the harder it would get. It gave him enough anxiety as it was. He didn’t want to have Juudai hearing him right now, the pressure would feel too much even if the other didn’t do anything. So he settled down on a far off bench in the nearby park, in an as secluded part as he could get. With a shivering hand, he hit the call button on Fubuki’s entry in the contact list.

The dial tone sounded twice before he heard Fubuki’s voice with a cheerful “ _ hi, you’re talking to Fubuki! _ ”

“Uh… hey, it’s me, um, Jun.” They had never been on a first name basis, but his first name was less risky to say in public than his last name, so he stuck with it for now. His anxiety was overwhelming.

-

The sound of the phone startled Fubuki, and when he looked at it from where he was bugging Ryo in his husband’s office, it was from a number he didn’t recognise. He hoped it was Jun, but he had no way of knowing if it was, so he answered it the way he always did, leaning against the back of Ryo’s desk chair, where the blue haired man was typing on his computer. “Hi, you’re talking to Fubuki!”

For a few seconds there was nothing but silence, until he was met with a familiar voice he hadn’t heard in years.  _ “Uh… hey, it’s me, um, Jun.” _ He sounded way more insecure than Fubuki had ever heard him, but he recognised his voice immediately. For a while, everything he’d planned to say when they were finally back in contact flew right out of the window, and he couldn’t remember any of it. He had to stop himself from word vomiting all over, and he walked over to the couch he had made Ryo put into the room, covering his face with his free hand. He could feel Ryo’s eyes on him as the typing stopped, and Fubuki gave him a soft smile, then tuned into the call. “I… hey, I wasn’t sure you were gonna call. I’ve missed you.”

Thoughts were spinning through his head, and he nodded and squeezed Ryo’s hand as his husband whispered a quiet ‘I’ll give you the room’. Clearly he had figured out who was calling, and wanted to give them both room to talk without interruption. Ryo had known for years how saddened Fubuki had been by Jun pulling away from him, and it had been a shock for both of them to find out the truth last night. He wanted to give his spouse the time to talk to Jun on his own. Fubuki knew he would probably find him in Asuka’s office nearby once the call ended.

_ “...I’ve missed you too,” _ came the quiet reply on the other end of the call.  _ “I don’t know how much Tenjouin-kun told you, but I guess you know why I, uh, didn’t talk to you for so long.” _

Fubuki nodded, like they were face to face, before he remembered himself. “Yeah, she told me everything you’ve told her. I still can’t believe your brothers would do something like that. I would never even think of doing that to Asuka. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” His heart ached when he thought of his relationship with his younger sister. It was unimaginable to him that someone would ever come up with the idea to try to murder their own sibling. It made him want to cry, and find the assholes and slam his fist in their faces. And he really wasn’t a violent person. But this… it was horrible. He felt his eyes grow hot and his throat tighten, so he looked up at the ceiling to try and stop the oncoming tears for at least a little while longer.

Clearly, Jun didn’t know how to respond to that, as he replied; _ “I’m sorry I missed your wedding. I really wanted to be there.” _

The tears couldn’t be stopped any longer, and he covered his mouth as he sobbed, though clearly Jun still caught it.  _ “I, uh, I’m sorry, I-” _

“It’s not your fault. Please don’t feel guilty for missing it, none of that was your fault. I get it now, I don’t blame you for it. I just… I’ll do anything to help you be able to come back. We’ll put them in prison, or, or, whatever you want to do. I just wanna-” He cut himself off with a sobbing hiccup, taking a moment to swallow the thick saliva building up in his throat. “I just wanna give you a hug so bad right now.”

He could hear silent sobs on the other end, and though Jun was better at stifling it, it still carried through.  _ “I want to come see you… all of you, just, I, I’ll come back, I really want to come back… I promise I’ll be back soon.” _

Fubuki felt bad that Jun had to reassure him right now when it should be the other way around, and he hugged himself where he sat, pressing his forehead against his knees. “I’ll- I’ll look forward to it. I can’t wait to see you again.”


	9. You make me feel nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winding down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm not the greatest at replying to comments since I'm not used to it and all that, but let it be known that I appreciate it a lot. <3
> 
> Song is "Coffee" by Beabadoobee.

Jun and Fubuki stayed on the phone with each other for nearly two hours. By the time Jun came back to the apartment his face was red and blotchy, and he felt disgusting, but oddly light. He’d done a lot of crying throughout his life, but it had never felt so cathartic before this. He’d tried to do what he usually did; cry quietly so no one would notice, but in the end he’d broken down completely, just openly sobbing on the park bench, strangers staring at him when they passed. The surprising thing was that he didn’t give a damn about it. He’d been so used to caring that no one knew how badly he was doing, what with his brothers mocking him at every turn and harassing him when he dared to cry, but now? Let them look. He wasn’t going to get a panic attack because someone saw him cry like a child anymore. They weren’t important. What was important was Fubuki and what they were talking about, even though they were both a mess by the end of it.

He came home to a wonderfully smelling apartment, Juudai and Cheeseburger curled up together on one end of the couch. Juudai was doing something with his deck, that Jun couldn’t see from the angle he came from, but put it down when he saw Jun’s face. He looked unsure about what to say at first, like he wasn’t sure if he should ask or leave him alone. In the end, he seemed to settle on distracting him, as to not get him to cry again. Juudai too knew how exhausting crying could be. “Hey, Cheeseburger knocked a box over and I found makeup in it. Is it okay if I paint your nails?” 

Jun laughed, his sore eyes scrunching up as he smiled a tired smile. “Yeah, okay.” He’d accumulated a small collection of makeup, though most of it was nail polish. There was one eyeshadow palette, one tub of eyeliner and one mascara, and maybe one or two lipsticks, but really, he enjoyed nail polish the most of those things. He just hadn’t had the time to play around with it in a while. “Let me take a shower first. Pick a colour while I do, I guess.”

Juudai gave a happy whoop as Jun turned to go to the bathroom for a well deserved shower. The feeling of dried tears and snot on his face was less than pleasant. He turned the heat all the way up and let himself relax into it, the heat fogging up his brain and letting his mind slow down for once. Having gotten used to quick showers had him out of it pretty soon though, his body scrubbed squeaky clean and his hair damp and smelling like cheap shampoo.

He found Juudai still on the couch, though he had clearly moved as there was now a steaming bowl of rice and stew on the living room table. The sight of it had his stomach growling, and he didn’t need to be told twice to dig in. Once he’d eaten his fill, Juudai carefully took one of his hands, opening the bottle of nail polish. It was a vibrant red, that had reminded Jun of the Slifer colours, though he wouldn’t tell Juudai that. It was embarrassing how much he missed that run down dorm even after he’d complained so much about it back in the day. Jun relaxed his hand, feeling the touch of Juudai’s skin against his slender fingers as Juudai got started. “I’m not good at this,” Juudai warned, “but I think it’s fun to do it anyway, so don’t get mad if I mess up.”

Jun snorted, a sleepy grin on his face. “You’re admitting that there’s something you’re not good at? I’m surprised even you have grown up since school.” That had Juudai cracking up. “Yeah, you can’t be amazing at everything.”

They fell into a comfortable silence after that, Cheeseburger purring where she loafed between them, whipping up a storm with her bees. The only sound was her and their breathing, and the occasional tap when Juudai got more of the polish out of the bottle. It was calming, and Jun felt himself about to nod off when Juudai lifted his hands to his face to blow on them, careful to not blow too hard and ruin them. “Do you usually paint your toes too, cus I can do that if you want me to.”

He got a sleepy nod in response, and Jun shifted as slowly as he could to not disturb his now sleeping cat. It was a bit awkward when he put his feet on Juudai’s lap, but he was too tired to do more than feel his cheeks flush. It felt oddly intimate when Juudai picked one of them up, and started painting the big toe. The touch tickled a little, but his grip was firm enough for it to not be annoying. He leaned his head against the backrest of the couch, watching Juudai work with the tip of his tongue poking out of his mouth in concentration. Winged Kuriboh was watching too, but didn’t make any noise as to not startle Juudai and make him mess up.

When he moved on to the second foot, Jun felt himself almost fall asleep again, and before he knew it, he was being nudged with a coo in his ear. He must have actually fallen asleep, but it seemed like it hadn’t been for too long, as Juudai looked at him with a gentle smile that had Jun’s stomach flip around with emotions, and Winged Kuriboh was in Jun’s ear waking him up. “I think they’re dry now,” Juudai said quietly, his hand resting on Jun’s lower legs, that were stretched across his thighs.

Jun gave his fingers and toes a proper good look. They were kind of messy, but not the worst job he himself had done back when he’d started experimenting with makeup. “It’s a masterpiece, were you lying to me, slacker?” Juudai grinned at him, and propped his head up against his hand, elbow over the back of the couch. “Yep, I was just being modest.”

Jun grinned back, before moving his feet off the brunette’s lap. “We should go to bed. I’m exhausted.”

“You’ll let me share the bed again? I didn’t kick you in my sleep so much you got fed up with me?” Jun’s cheeks flushed again at the thought of the way he’d woken up in the morning. Either Juudai didn’t notice, or chose not to point out the redness on his cheeks.

“Call it bed probation.” Juudai laughed again, and stood up, Cheeseburger chirping as her back rest disappeared, and she lifted a sleepy head. She soon realised they were both heading to the bedroom, and she was quick to follow.

All three of them were out like a light in mere minutes.


	10. Put your hand in mine and let's be in love until sunrise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A well deserved slow morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m knitting matching shirts for me and one of my cats. The other one doesn’t like them, sadly.
> 
> Chapter title is from the song "Släpp mig fri" by Jenny Wall. Lemme plug it ok my baby brother is the drummer lol and I love this song so much.

For the second morning in a row, Jun wasn’t woken up by a wailing cat or a blaring alarm. It did mean that he was awake at an ungodly hour again, but it was worth it this time, knowing that he didn’t have to get ready for a long shift at work. On the other hand, knowing he’s now unemployed made his heart beat faster with anxiety. Luckily, Cheeseburger woke up right around then to get ready to beg for breakfast, so he climbed over Juudai, doing his best not to wake the other up as he did. By the snores still coming out of the pillow, it seemed like he’d managed.

He stayed with Cheeseburger while she ate, cross legged on one of the kitchen chairs. Getting off the floor was harder these days, though he still did it sometimes. He especially liked lying on the floor to think. He was too tired and still had too much of a post-cry headache to bother with the struggle of it now though.

When she’d finished eating he stopped staring into space, and got off the chair to go back to bed. There was no reason for him to still be up now that Cheeseburger had been fed, and he planned on taking full advantage of the extra sleep he could get.

-

Falling back asleep proved to be harder than he would have hoped however, as he did his best not to stare at Juudai when he slept. He knew it could be considered creepy, and he really didn’t want to creep Juudai out, no matter if he ever tried to initiate a relationship or not.

Instead, he stared intently at the ceiling, with his cat purring straight into his ear like a tiny motorboat, the sound deafening at such close proximity. He kept his hand lightly scratching her soft fur, while his brain ran amok from the calm he needed to sleep.

-

At some point, the sound of snoring stopped without Jun noticing. Jun was still staring at the ceiling, but Cheeseburger had fallen asleep at this point so he was no longer petting her. Instead he restlessly scratched at the skin of his collarbone. His mind had calmed a little bit since he initially woke up, but he had resigned himself to not getting any more rest this morning. 

He startled when fingers slotted between his, a warm hand covering the back of his own. He turned his head to look into Juudai’s big brown eyes as the brunette pulled his hand away from reddened skin that had started to shed blood without his notice.

“Oh.” 

Recently he’d started to do that, and he didn’t know why. He’d be trying not to think about a certain thing, and  _ bam _ , blood.

He should have pulled his hand away from Juudai’s now that he was aware of it, but he didn’t. Instead, he looked into Juudai’s eyes, his face growing hot the longer his hand was held. He was embarrassed by how much he liked holding the other man’s hand, and after what felt like an eternity, he looked over at his phone to check the time in an attempt to distract himself. It was already 7, and he felt his heartrate pick up for half a second before he remembered that he didn’t have anywhere else to be right now. Juudai clearly caught sight of the time too, what with the slightly puzzled look on his face. “You’re not working today?”

“Right. Uh. I quit yesterday. So he fired me.”

Juudai gave him an even more confused look, shifting so he was lying on his side facing Jun. “How can you fire someone who already quit?”

Jun stayed where he was to avoid waking his snoozing cat, giving a tiny shrug of one shoulder. “Wanted the last word I guess. I was gonna cover the rest of my shifts to not be a piece of shit to my co-workers, but he banned me.”

“And you say I’ve grown up since high school. You never would’ve cared about that back then.” 

Jun snorts and rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. “Yeah, can’t be spoiled forever I guess.” He knew even then that he’d been acting like a spoiled brat, but when you grow up with zero attention and affection, you find different ways to act out. Money and low self esteem was all he’d had and he had to stay sane somehow.

This time he actually shifted to turn onto his side so he was properly facing Juudai, even though Cheeseburger let out a little annoyed chirp before she stuffed her nose into his hair again. “I talked to Tenjouin-san yesterday.”

Juudai nodded, and he rubbed his thumb against Jun’s palm. “I kinda figured. Did it go okay?”

He mulled it over for a few seconds. They’d both been crying for a majority of the phone call, but in the end he’d felt a weight coming off his shoulders. It had been one hell of a rollercoaster of emotions on both ends, and he could hear the congestion in Fubuki’s nose even before they were halfway through. But he still nodded, cheek rubbing against the fabric of his pillow. “Yeah. I… can’t wait to see him again.”

“I can’t wait to bring you back. They’re all going to be so excited to see you again. I bet Fubuki’s gonna hug you til you’re begging him to stop.”

“I hope so.” It wasn’t like he had gotten a lot of hugs while living here. Sure, he’d dated a solid one man and one woman and had a few one night stands sprinkled in between, but he hadn’t had a single friend. No one that he could truly relax with, what with being on guard for anyone figuring out who he actually was.

As if Juudai had read his thoughts, he shifted closer and looked him in the eye. “Can I hug you?” In this situation, that was essentially like asking if he wanted to cuddle, and Jun felt his face grow pink. At least it felt like his face was the same vivid pink as the sparkles emitted by Rei’s Maiden in Love. He hoped it wasn’t as prominent as he thought it was, but his paleness had rarely been his friend in times like these.

Trying to play it off like no big deal, Jun rolled his eyes. “Yeah, sure.” Juudai gave him a huge grin before he scooted even closer to wrap an arm around his shoulders, the other letting go of Jun’s own hand only to carefully brush out Jun’s bedhead. It felt like the previous morning all over again when Juudai decided to say “your hair really is cute, you know. It suits you, all fluffy and soft.” Jun just grumbled under his breath, face even warmer than before.

“I can stop saying it if you want me to. If you don’t like it.”

Jun made a face, scrunching up his nose, and Juudai started to withdraw his hand out of his hair when Jun slapped his own on top of his. “No! Uh, I mean, I don’t mind it. You’re just… weird. Not in a bad way.”

“You too.”

“Now I  _ know _ you’re messing with me.”

Juudai started to laugh, head moving forward with the motion until their noses bumped against each other. The light touch made both of them freeze, and they stared into each other’s eyes. Jun couldn’t pay attention to anything else but those deep brown eyes, as big and soulful as he’d found them all those years ago, when he’d been young and closeted and fallen hard without daring to make a single move.

Those big eyes closed, and Jun’s own followed suit. Their lips brushed together, soft like butterfly wings, when--

A furry bottom planted itself right between them, forcing them apart.

The moment was broken, Cheeseburger looking none the wiser about what she’d just made herself a part of. Juudai burst out laughing so hard he fell off the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feat. my cats ability to interrupt moments where they shouldn’t. Kalma can open closed doors. >_>


	11. And everybody's hurting, Everybody's going through it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to count down the days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song title is from the song "After the storm" by Kali Uchis.

Somehow Juudai managed to knock his head open on the edge of the little bedside table that Jun had taken the effort to paint black a few years back, but there was only a minor amount of blood. Jun dragged him into the bathroom to patch him up, letting Juudai do the same to the scratch he’d opened up on his collarbone as well after some pestering. It made Jun roll his eyes, as it wasn’t the first time. His collarbone and neck tended to look like that more often than not these days.

They didn’t talk about what had almost happened before the cat interrupted, but Jun could feel his face heat up any time he caught a glimpse of Juudai, which made breakfast quite awkward. It subsided once he started telling the other about the day before at work, and how he needed to get out of the apartment pretty soon now that he had no income. He’d be going back with Juudai anyway, and they decided to get started right away.

If he wanted him coming to Tokyo to be as subtle as possible, he couldn’t bring a lot of stuff, so he made a list of everything he was going to keep (mostly cat things, some clothes, and the odd bits and bobs), and decided to sell everything else.

“So we’re having a garage sale?” Juudai asked as he dried off the last of the dishes from their breakfast while Jun pulled the plug to the sink.

“Not like I have a garage, but yeah. I guess the easiest thing would be to just put up notes and then move everything to the yard. If we put a low enough price on it we should be able to get rid of most of it.” For once he was thankful to be living on the first floor. His body would not be able to handle carrying the furniture down any flights of stairs. He went to the gym a few times a week, but by no means was he buff. Not like Juudai had apparently decided to become. Honestly, moving the bed or table outside on his own would have been hard either way. Heavy weights were a bitch most days. “I need to go to the laundromat anyway, we can put notes in there, some on the streets and grocery stores. I want it gone as soon as possible.”

“How soon? You know you don’t have to be stressed out about it, I’m sure we can help you out with the rent if you wanna stay longer.”

Jun appreciated the sentiment, but still shook his head. “I don’t wanna borrow money from you. It’s enough that you keep buying me food. Which is, uh, you’re good at cooking but you know you don’t have to, right?”

“Sure. But I like cooking! I wanna cook for you all the time.”

The line made Jun’s face heat up again, but he ignored it in favour of pulling out some paper and a few markers. “My rent is paid til the end of the month, which is just, you know, two days away, and I can’t afford to pay another month with no job, so we’ve pretty much just got today and tomorrow.”

Juudai grabbed a paper of his own, uncapping a marker. “Holy crap, we better get started then!”

-

When Asuka got a phone call from Juudai during the evening, she didn’t expect things to have unfolded so fast. They were going to reunite with Jun in just two days or so, and she had a lot of things to plan.

She was sitting on her bed, legs crossed and her laptop on her lap, compiling all the information she’d gathered the last couple of days. She kept coming back to the photos Juudai had sent her, with Jun’s scars on full display.

They were several years old now, but they still looked gruesome, obviously never getting the chance to heal right. It was no wonder that they hadn’t, with how she knew that Jun had been forced to get the bullets out and stitch the holes up all on his own. She knew now that the one in his leg had gotten infected, and he’d been unsure if he would survive it, but he’d managed to recover from it in the end.

When Fubuki had seen them he’d started crying, and was on the verge of throwing up. Sho had looked green around the edges as well, but had held himself together rather well. Fubuki was by far the one who’d taken the whole discovery the worst, as he had been closer to Jun than the rest of them. Ryo had held him in his arms, while Asuka handed him a box of tissues that were soon demolished.

Now, looking at them for what felt like the millionth time, she felt a cold rage aimed toward the older Manjoume brothers. They’d gotten away scot free for almost a decade, after doing something like that to their youngest brother. She’d obsessively researched their current affairs, even on the verge of downloading the Tor browser, but had enough sense to not go down that route, mostly due to the fact that she didn’t know how to navigate something like the dark web.

She felt the mattress next to her dip, and she looked up from the article about Manjoume Shouji’s recent deal with an oil tycoon that was about to lead her into researching said tycoon. “You need to shut that off or you’ll never fall asleep.”

A hand pushed Asuka’s hair behind her ear, while another gently plucked the computer out of her lap.

“Mizuchi… I just can’t stop thinking about it. He’s coming to Tokyo in less than two days, I have so much to prepare. I don’t even know where he should stay once he gets here.” She knew that Fubuki would want him to stay with him and Ryo, but she also knew that the man wouldn’t be able to let Jun out of his sight, and with him and Ryo being newlyweds, it would feel awkward enough for Jun to stay there.

Her girlfriend shut the laptop and put it on the bedside table next to them, before shifting so she was fully on the bed, pulling the covers over both of them to wrap her arms around Asuka. “Misawa-san still hasn’t found a new roommate since you moved in with me, right? What about your old room? I’m sure it’d work even if it’s just temporarily.”

Asuka reached for her phone. “I hadn’t thought about that… Yeah, sure, I’ll ask him-”

“In the morning. Sweetie, it’s almost midnight, he’s probably asleep.” And if he wasn’t, he would be engulfed in a math equation and most likely unresponsive to the world. He’d be at work in the morning regardless, so she could talk to him there.

“Yeah, you’re right. Right.” She turned around in Mizuchi’s arms, nuzzling her nose into the raven’s chest until the woman was giving a warm laugh. “I love you.”

Mizuchi kissed the crown of her hair and turned off the lights. “I love you too. Good night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally getting to that f/f tag yo
> 
> EDIT: I PUT IN HAYATO'S NAME INSTEAD OF MISAWAS WTF i have other stuff planned for Hayato lmao not this, fixed it, I am a whole ass dumbass


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moving time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: I wrote the wrong name in the previous chapter, if you wonder why Misawa is in this chapter.
> 
> Guess who got distracted cus I spent yesterday pissed off cus my bicycle got stolen FOR THE THIRD TIME IN A YEAR AND A HALF
> 
> So I'm gonna move. Not quite yet, but I'll warn you when the time comes cus I'll probably have to go on hiatus then. It won't be yet though.

When morning came the day they were leaving for Tokyo, it was to Cheeseburger stepping on Jun’s face, yelling right into his ear. She’d been restless all night, given how empty the apartment had now become. Jun himself had gotten maybe an hour and a half of sleep, staring into the ceiling where he lay on the floor wrapped in blankets. They’d gotten rid of every piece of furniture, almost all his items. The last few days had been a blur and when Juudai had asked him if he didn’t want to slow down, he’d been honest and let him know that if he gave himself a moment of spare time at this point, he would freak the fuck out. He needed to keep everything in order and all his time occupied or he’d have the biggest panic attack in his life. And he’d had some pretty major ones in his life so far, even though he hadn’t known to call it that as a child. Especially since his older brothers’ response had just been to mock him and call him weak instead of telling him what was happening and why he felt like he was being torn apart from the inside.

So there had been no time to even dwell on how they’d almost kissed, or how he was on his way to confront his brothers eventually. The night before he’d kept himself busy by sorting all the items they hadn’t managed to sell into piles of what to keep, donate or throw away. And once he’d gone through everything he went through his keep pile and made it even smaller. At half past two in the morning Juudai had woken up and caught on to what he was doing, stopping him from just straight up getting rid of everything that wasn’t the cat’s. In his anxiety he’d almost gotten rid of his damn cellphone.

So they spent the rest of the early morning watching videos on Juudai’s phone, until Jun had fallen asleep on his shoulder. Juudai had let him stay there until he too was sleepy again, and shifted so they were both lying down as comfortably as they could manage. Neither woke up until it was time for Cheeseburger to have her breakfast.

-

The next few hours after waking up was spent packing up the rest of the stuff, bringing it to either shelters, second hand stores or recycling stations, and finally, cleaning the apartment. They didn’t slow down for a break until it was almost time for lunch, and Juudai decided to make a last meal before they left. He opted for pancakes, and they ate while sitting up on the kitchen counter, making Jun roll his eyes at how juvenile the action was but didn’t protest it more than that. Cheeseburger’s things were the last to be packed, and thankfully she was always easy-going about being in the carrier backpack, feeling like a little feline astronaut. She was insecure when she was outdoors on her own, so it was like a safetynet to be inside her backpack. She’d be more annoyed once she realised how long she’d have to be in there though.

With a last look to make sure everything was as orderly as they could possibly get it, Jun locked the door and dropped the key into his landlord’s mailbox. They started the walk toward the train station with two suitcases, a bag with cat food and other things they’d need during the trip, Juudai’s oversized travel backpack, and Cheeseburger’s space shuttle. The streets were fairly empty this time of day, most people at work or school, but a few people were out shopping or going to the station just like them. The train that would take them to the next train that would actually take them to Tokyo was only half an hour from departing, and it was a ten minute walk to the platform. With each step Jun could feel his heartbeat grow louder in his ears, and he gripped the suitcase tighter. His main source of comfort at the moment was the purring from behind him where Cheeseburger was watching everything pass by with her golden-green eye, but once they boarded the train and he moved the bag to his lap even sticking his fingers in to let her nuzzle them wasn’t enough and he felt himself spiralling.

_ What the fuck was he doing? Did he really think going back was a good idea? Why the hell would any of them even want him to come see them after so long? _ He knew it was his brain messing with him, he’d talked to Fubuki one more time the day before, and the older man had made sure that he knew that they were all excited for him to come back. But now that he had gotten rid of both his job, his apartment and all his things, it was all so  _ real _ . He felt like he was going to throw up, and he had to hand the space shuttle cat bag over to Juudai to go to the bathroom, hand over his mouth. It was pure luck that the toilet was free, and as soon as he locked the door he was on his knees, vomiting. He could feel the tears spring up in his eyes as he heaved, even when there was nothing left but bile, making his throat hurt and his hands cramp in his effort to calm himself down.

He stayed in there for what felt like hours, but was only about 20, five of those spent rinsing out his mouth and trying to brush his teeth with nothing at hand but soap and his finger. It was disgusting but at least it got the taste of vomit out of his mouth. He splashed his face with water but gave up trying to not look like death when he returned to his seat next to Juudai. By that point he was exhausted, and didn’t have the energy to do more than lean against the window while Juudai watched him with concern in his eyes.

-

The rest of the ride was somewhat easier. It was like he’d purged himself in the figurative sense at the same time as he did so in the literal sense, and he felt… numb. Like he was too tired to feel more at this point. He thought he heard a weird sound somewhere when he was teetering on the edge of sleep, but it must have been the train moving beneath him.

When he woke up again it was time to change trains, and he even had the energy to feel his face grow warm when Juudai took his hand to lead them to the right platform. It was a fairly long wait to board the second train, giving Juudai enough time to get him some toast. At this point it was the only thing his stomach could handle, and he felt so stupidly grateful by the gesture that he was on the verge of tears. It took everything he had not to start crying over god damn  _ toast _ , and he was only saved by the train pulling up to the platform.

-

Once they pulled into Tokyo station, Jun’s anxiety was rising again. He knew that they were meeting Asuka and Misawa at the station, and that Asuka had stopped Fubuki from coming as well. He was torn about Fubuki’s absence; he missed him something terribly, but it would be overwhelming enough to just have her and Misawa there. He honestly didn’t know much about their personal lives anymore, as neither of them posted that much about it on their social media, but the day before he’d learned that they used to be roommates. He would never have guessed that.

“Are you ready? They’re waiting at the main entrance by the parking lot. I told them you might want some extra time when we got here, they won’t be mad if we take a few minutes longer.”

Jun had to clear his throat and uncertainly gripped Juudai’s fingers again. He could pretend like he wasn’t freaking out internally again, but that would be pointless. Juudai seemed to have learned how to read him pretty well these past few days, so he no doubt already knew. “I…” His voice stuck in his throat and he cleared it again with more success this time. It still felt raw from the first train ride. “No, let’s do this now, it’s better to get it over with.”

That had Juudai pause, stopping to give him a concerned look. “Are you sure you wanna do this now? I know what you were doing on the first train. We can check into a hotel if you’re not ready, you know.”

“The longer I wait the worse it’s gonna get. Let’s just go already so I can get Cheeseburger out of her bag.” The cat was indeed getting agitated by now, scratching her little paw against the plastic bubble of her space shuttle.

“Okay.” Juudai took his hand, giving it a squeeze. He was about to let go when Jun gripped his hand tighter, lacing their fingers together. He avoided looking at Juudai when he saw him looking, his ears burning. He was thankful that the other didn’t comment on it, instead just smiling at him and leading the way through the station.

-

The closer they got to the rendezvous spot, the more nervous he was becoming. He was dead set on not throwing up again; the first time he came face to face with his former crush (and Misawa) would not be wasted smelling like garbage. He didn’t like her like that anymore, but he didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of her more than he had to. He respected her too much for that, it’d be ridiculous!

Juudai caught sight of them first, and nudged Jun to give him a heads up. Jun felt his heart clench at the sight of two of his high school friends, his hand gripping Juudai’s so hard it almost hurt, but Juudai just gave a squeeze back, his thumb moving across the back of his hand. “Hey, Asuka, Misawa!”

The two finally noticed them, and Jun felt his breath hitch in his throat when he locked eyes with Asuka. He sucked in a sharp breath and looked away, but let Juudai lead them over to their high school friends.

“Hey, it’s so good to see you again, Jun. We’ve missed you.” It was a bit stiff, but she’d never really used his last name before, so it wasn’t odd for it to be. When he looked back at her there was warmth in her eyes, and his grip on Juudai’s hand relaxed a little as he tried to focus more on her than the loudness of his heart and the blood rushing in his ears.

“I’ve… missed you too.”

He noticed Asuka’s eyes move down to his and Juudai’s interlocked hands, and she smiled but didn’t say anything. It still made his cheeks and ears feel warm when she looked up to meet his eyes again.

“Can I hug you? I promised Fubuki I’d give you one in exchange of him not coming here and smothering you.”

He was a bit surprised at that. Asuka had never really wanted that much to do with him in high school (though he knew why, his insistence with his crush had been annoying, and he now knew that he’d been an idiot), but on the other hand, he knew it had probably taken Asuka a lot of convincing to get Fubuki to stay home. He loved the man, but it definitely would have been too much. It was overwhelming enough as it was, and he didn’t even know Misawa that well.

“I, yeah, sure, of course.”

She took a few steps forward and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He relaxed into her embrace, finally letting go of Juudai’s hand to hug her back. His nerves were starting to calm down, finally.

They were interrupted by a yowl, that startled Asuka back a step. Jun looked over his shoulder where Juudai was trying now trying to calm his cat down.

He looked over at Misawa. “Hope you’re not allergic to cats.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A heart to heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter, but I wanted to get back on track. Phase one of the whole moving mess is done, aka my twin brother moved into our home village, and now I'm gonna renovate his old apartment.

The drive to Misawa’s apartment was spent mostly in silence on Jun’s part, Asuka driving as Jun concentrated on keeping Cheeseburger as calm as possible. Juudai was telling them about some cows they’d seen near one of the train station stops with all the enthusiasm he could muster, all the while holding on to Jun’s hand like he didn’t want to let go. They’d seen it before, but Jun couldn’t help but feel a bit awkward thinking about how his friends had looked at them when they showed up holding hands. It wasn’t like Jun had ever told them he wasn’t straight, and though he didn’t think they’d react badly to it, especially after finding out about Ryo and Fubuki’s relationship, he’d been conditioned to think that it was gross as a child, when his brothers caught him getting a kiss on the cheek from another boy when he was six. It hadn’t been pretty, and it was one of the many times when he’d wondered if things would have been better or worse if they’d still had parents by that time. But that was something he would never know.

When they arrived, they stopped in front of a well kept apartment complex in a much nicer neighbourhood than the one he’d just left. It wasn’t anywhere near the mansion he’d grown up in, but it was overwhelming to step into it nonetheless. Especially considering it was the first time he’d entered a friend’s home in… well, ever, really. He didn’t truly have friends before these ones, and he’d most certainly hadn’t visited anyone, nor had anyone over to his place, as a child.

The apartment was spacious, with white walls and soft looking furniture. It was clean for the most part, aside from the heaps of paper that no doubt held mountains of calculations lying around most flat surfaces that weren't the floor.

Juudai set up the litter box, food and water bowls while Jun carefully took the backpack off and opened it up. Cheeseburger meowed at him and leapt into his lap, rubbing her face against his before going into exploration mode. She’d never been scared when she moved into his own tiny home, and it seemed like she was just as laid back now.

He could hear Asuka make a choked noise behind him and he looked up at her from his kneeling position on the floor, with a questioning look on his face.

“She’s so sweet, Jun. I didn’t know you were a cat person before Juudai told me you had one.”

Climbing back to his feet again with a lot of effort and a helping hand from Misawa when the man noticed (but thankfully didn’t comment) his struggle, he looked after the cat where she was now checking out that Juudai had prepared her litter box properly, followed by her promptly using it right before the brunette could even get the lid on. “Yeah, I didn’t either. But she just… I liked her.” He wouldn’t admit out loud that he’d related to her, that was something he found far too embarrassing, but Asuka was good at reading between the lines, and had no doubt understood without him needing to say a word.

Misawa had gone over to let Juudai know where he could put the bags of food and the litter, so Asuka offered to give him a tour and show him where he’d be sleeping. She led him to a nice room that mostly held a big bed, a bedside table, a closet and a desk. It was obvious that Misawa had used the desk but not much else in there, but the man had made an effort to clean it out for him. “This used to be my room,” Asuka explained. “But I moved in with Mizuchi a few months ago to try it out and we decided to make it permanent recently. So you can stay here for as long as you want. God knows Daichi needs the company, he’s an expert at getting too wrapped into his work to remember to eat or sleep.”

Jun blinked at her, and now that they were shoeless, it was obvious that she was way taller than him. He’d thought it might’ve been the heels before, but clearly it wasn’t just that. “You two were roommates? And I, uh, didn’t know you were…” he felt rude to finish his other thought, but Asuka waved it off with a tiny smirk.

“A lesbian? Yeah. Sorry Jun, but you really never stood a chance with me.”

That made him burst out laughing, with how little he had expected her to say that. A warm smile made its way onto his face as she listened to his laugh. 

“I was really annoying back then anyway, I don’t think I would’ve stood a chance with you even if you liked guys.”

“Fair. But you’ve got your eyes on someone else now, don’t you?” She flopped down next to him on the bed where he’d all but collapsed while laughing so hard.

Jun’s face went red, and he covered it in his hands, peeking at her between his fingers when she chuckled softly. “Am I that obvious?”

“Yeah. Have you told him yet?”

“Hell no, I’m not ready for that. What if he doesn’t like me back?”

A raised eyebrow was his only reply for a few seconds. “He told me you almost kissed.”

Now Jun pulled as much as he could of the blanket over himself, and he could feel his cheeks and ears burn. “Why would he tell you that?” he almost whined, and Asuka didn’t even try to stifle the amused snort as she lifted a corner of the blanket to look at him. “He tells me everything. I won’t tell you to tell him now, but I’ll support you if you do. Take it at your own pace.”

He looked at her from his protective covers of soft fabric, giving her a shy smile back. “Thank you, Asuka-kun.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first night at Misawa's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if I'll be back to schedule now, but I've renovated my future apartment that used to be my twin's apartment cus he moved back to our home village since it stood mostly empty and he missed the countryside. I'm still in this apartment for a little while longer though so the paint smell can come out while I slowly move my things there. I got my apartment til august so. Here we go.

The first night in Tokyo was disastrous. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but his own, Jun knew, as he had been too chicken to ask Juudai to stay when he went to crash on Asuka’s couch after they asked if he wanted Juudai to stay and he’d said no. Like a coward.

He regretted it now, at 3 in the morning after only an hour of sleep at most, and he felt too awkward to walk around the apartment on his own at this time of night, even though Misawa had told him he could snoop around or get up at any time he wanted. So now he was sitting in the window in Asuka’s old room, his one comfort being his cat who was sleeping in his arms and draped over his chest, chin on his shoulder and nose against his neck. His arms had gotten tired a long time ago, but he didn’t want to move.

Jun looked out at the night sky. Hardly any stars could be seen with all the lights of the gigantic city. He wasn’t used to a view like this anymore. Back when he’d been young he’d spent a lot of time in Tokyo, especially in middle school when he’d still tried to spend time with his brothers at the main office. The thought of how close the corporation’s main office now was was a big part of why he’d been unable to sleep, having been woken up by nightmares that he hadn’t had in quite some time. He was disoriented this late at night and after so long of being away that he wasn’t sure which direction it was from here, but just being within the same city was terrifying, especially when he wasn’t sure if the window faced that particular direction.

He was startled out of his rising anxiety by a hand on his shoulder, his jump being enough to jostle Cheeseburger awake. The yelp that escaped him was anything but discreet or dignified.

Misawa took a step back, an apologetic smile on his face. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I’ve been talking to you but you didn’t react.” Misawa was decked out in flannel pajamas and managed to hold two mugs in one hand somehow. Jun accepted one when it was offered, and Cheeseburger rearranged herself to curl around his shoulders. Misawa sat down on the edge of the desk that was pushed against the window. “I was going to the bathroom and saw you sitting there. I guess your cat pushed the door more open earlier.” It had been left cracked open for her earlier, and Jun knew Misawa was probably right. She had been rubbing her cheeks against everything to scent it all evening and had no doubt done so with the door as well.

“I uh. Didn’t notice you.”

“I figured. Couldn’t sleep, huh? A lot’s happened today so that makes sense.” Jun nodded slowly, and sipped the tea in the mug he’d been given. It was a bit sweet for his taste, but he didn’t want to say anything. Not right now when he finally had something to take his mind off things.

“I haven’t been this close to my brothers in almost a decade. It must’ve affected me more than I thought.”

Being so open with Misawa felt weird, given that they’d never been close in high school, but he’d already decided to show vulnerability with Juudai and Asuka. If he was going to stay with Misawa now, he felt like he owed him at least that much as well. He wanted to try to be better, this time around. He’d never been the nicest friend to anyone before, and these days he regretted it.

“Their main office is in Marunouchi, right?” Jun gave another nod, “I don’t remember what direction it is from here, and I… it stressed me out.”

“It’s in the direction the kitchen is facing. Opposite of this window. I don’t know if that helps at all.”

“Maybe.” He wouldn’t know until the next time he managed to fall asleep, and while the tea helped, he had a feeling it would take him a while to wind down enough to do so.

“How long were you and Asuka-kun roommates for? Neither of you ever showed any signs of living together on social media.” Asuka’s social media was very professional and Misawa tended to post nothing but science, math and card things. Especially math things.

“About three years. She moved in with me after my last relationship fell through because I needed someone there and she pitched in. Then she just ended up staying until she moved in with Mizuchi.”

“Oh. Okay.” The conversation stalled after that, neither of them really knowing how to talk to the other. It struck Jun that he might not have had even one regular conversation with Misawa. The silence was awkward, but not that bad. Jun didn’t even notice when he drifted off to sleep.

-

When Jun woke up he had expected to be in terrible pain from having fallen asleep in the window, but to his surprise he was curled up in the bed when he opened his eyes. He could hear the sound of one person talking and an absence of fur in his nose, and realised Misawa must have carried him to bed after he’d fallen asleep. He’d slept heavily the rest of the night, too tired to dream, and he was thankful for that, and for Misawa having moved him, even though the thought was terribly embarrassing. Did he really weigh so little that it took the other man so little effort that Jun didn’t even stir when it happened? The man wasn’t even that in shape, he was a math geek, not a jock. He had enough online presence to show that he’d rather read math textbooks than go to the gym.

Jun pinched at his stomach, and yeah, he really had lost a lot of weight since high school. He felt like Juudai’s cooking had made him gain a tiny bit of it back the last few days though.

Cheeseburger yowled at him from the floor to get out of bed, and as if on cue, his stomach growled. He followed his cat into the kitchen where Misawa had his nose buried in his laptop, typing away. A loaf of bread was out, and an entire pot of coffee was brewing on the countertop.

Jun looked between the coffee, bread and Misawa, unsure of what to do. Last night, Misawa had yet again reminded him that he was free to do whatever he wanted in the apartment, but he still felt out of sorts in the situation. A slight amount of regret passed through him at the thought of having lost his old apartment forever, but it disappeared as soon as Cheeseburger nudged his leg with her head and meowed, bringing Misawa out of his own thoughts.

“Oh, hey, good morning. I gave her breakfast since Juudai warned me about her yelling.” He got up as the coffee finished brewing, pouring himself a cup and opening a cabinet, pointing to it. “I’ve got milk and sugar and stuff right next to the brewer, mugs and cups are in there. Just get yourself anything out of the fridge that you want except for the boxes labelled with the days on it. That’s my lunch boxes. I’ve got the morning off today but I’m heading to the office later, so you can spend some time getting used to this place on your own if you want. Or invite someone over, that’s okay too. But if you invite Fubuki, don’t let him near the fridge without supervision.”

The little monologue made Jun’s head spin for a moment before his mind caught up, but in the end he nodded, as Misawa sat back down with his coffee after adding ridiculous amounts of milk and sugar (that explained the tea).

He started to prepare two sandwiches for himself, then looked at the mug. His eye caught on one that had a bunch of generation 1 pokemon on it, and filled it with nothing but coffee before sitting down opposite of Misawa. Cheeseburger jumped up on his lap right away and started to purr. He could see Misawa smile at him from behind his coffee cup.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun is not okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for vomiting and body talk and panic attacks. sort of.

Around 11 Misawa left to go to work, leaving Jun completely alone for the first time in days. Ever since Juudai stormed into his life he hadn’t really been well and truly alone, since working didn’t exactly count, what with annoying customers and his boss bothering him. And now, here he was, all on his own, aside from the company of his cat.

He attempted leaving the apartment for a while to check out the surrounding area, but the thought of the risk of running into anyone from Manjoume Group made him too anxious and he had to promptly rush to the bathroom. While purging the entirety of his breakfast, he felt like he was going to cry from the thought of running into either of his brothers or one of their subordinates that used to know him all on his own. He’d try that once he was in the safe company of his friends and the comfort their presence brought him. But now? It was all too much, he felt like never leaving the apartment again.

Was he going to become a shut-in now that he was in the capital? He lay staring at the ceiling, Cheeseburger alternating between cuddling up on his stomach, against his head and exploring the apartment. He couldn’t stop thinking about his violent reaction to leaving Misawa’s apartment. In no way had he expected his body to react like that, and it made him curl into a ball on the bathroom floor, filled with shame. His chest felt tight, he needed to call someone. But who? He already felt like he’d put too much of a burden on Juudai, he didn’t want to call him over just for something like this. He just wanted someone to talk to right now, or he was going to think himself into a panic attack.

Not really able to focus his sight on his phone, he scrolled through it to find his newly expanded contacts list and pressed a random number. With no energy to hold it, he turned on the speaker and put it down on the floor next to him, wrapping his arms around Cheeseburger when she curled up against him.

The sound of the signals were loud, but only two rang out before the call was picked up.

“Jun-kun?” For a few seconds, Jun couldn’t speak, nothing but a sob coming out. Clearly it was loud enough to be heard, because the next words spoken were “are you at Daichi’s place?” and he managed a broken ‘yeah’ before he was told they’d be right over and the call ended.

\--

What simultaneously felt like seconds and hours later in Jun’s current mental state, he heard knocking on the bathroom door. Cheeseburger was the only one to reply with a coo and purring right into Jun’s ear, and he heard the door open more than the crack it had ended up with when he’d rushed to the room to throw up everything in his stomach.

Gentle hands helped him up to a sitting position, and he was leaned heavily against a firm chest. Arms enveloped him in a hug that had been promised to him only days before, and again, tears started to fall down his face in hot trails. “T-Tenjouin-san… I’m, I’m sorry for calling…”

Fubuki shushed him, rocking slowly back and forth, one hand supporting his back and the other brushing through his hair. “Don’t be. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m so glad you called. I don’t mind being here at all. Don’t doubt that for a second, okay?”

The tears stung his eyes and sobs made Jun’s entire body shake with all of the emotions he was feeling. “I didn’t- I didn’t want you to see me like this the first time we- we met again.”

The shame burned inside him, and he pressed his face into Fubuki’s chest, wrapping his arms around the older man. It was a relief to have someone there with him, even though he felt humiliated by being seen covered in tears, snot and vomit. He was downright disgusting, but the hand in his hair and the other one wrapped around him was comforting and slowly he calmed down, sobs subsiding til he was quiet, shivering from the exertion of the purging of all his emotions.

Finally, he lifted his head to blow his nose when Fubuki handed him a tissue. “I feel disgusting…” The morning’s shower felt entirely wasted, now that he felt like tearing his skin off from how horrible he felt. His nails dug into his arms, would have undoubtedly torn his skin had Fubuki not guided them away from their frantic scratching.

He tried to help him stand, but he was so exhausted his legs were shivering. It took all Jun had just to climb into the bathtub, and that was without even getting all his clothes off. Fubuki gave him a grin that shone like the sun, making him want to cry again just from how much he’d missed seeing that smile.

“I’ll help you, don’t worry. I helped Ryo a lot after he had heart surgery a few years ago, I know how to be gentle.”

Hesitantly, Jun nodded.

-

Fubuki was relieved when Jun agreed to let him help. He looked terrible, like death on legs, and he really didn’t want Jun to drown in the bath. Not on his watch. Well, not on anyone’s watch, but he would feel especially bad if he could have been around to stop it from happening.

With some struggle and cooperation, they managed to get Jun out of his clothes. Fubuki did his best not to stare at how horribly skinny Jun had gotten. He’d already been thin back in high school, but now… he was like a twig. He’d make sure that they all kept him well fed now that he was back in their lives.

He’d already seen the scars where he’d been shot on photographs that Juudai had sent Asuka, but seeing it in real life was like a punch to the gut. Just knowing that Jun’s older brothers had done that to him was unfathomable. As an older brother himself, it made him feel sick, and like he too was going to cry. Really, it was a wonder that he hadn’t burst into tears already, but he needed to pull himself together for the sake of his friend. He would cry later, after they got Jun nice and clean.

He started by popping the clothes into the laundry machine, sure that Misawa would understand why he’d messed up the math geek’s meticulous cleaning schedule once he was home. Then he started to run the water, deciding on using the showerhead rather than filling up the tub until Jun was at least somewhat clear of vomit. He was sure the raven wouldn’t appreciate bathing in filthy water. No one enjoyed that.

He aimed the water away from Jun, testing it every few seconds until it was a nice temperature. “Close your eyes and tilt your head forward.”

Following the instructions, Jun let the warm water run through his hair. It was cut a bit choppy but not too bad, Fubuki realising he must have gotten a lot of practice cutting it on his own these last years. He decided he’d take Jun out to the hairdresser as soon as Jun would say it was okay.

-

The shower was relatively quick, efficient and to the point. It was how Ryo had preferred it, and he was sure Jun didn’t want it to last longer than it had to either.

By the time Jun’s hair was almost dry, both their stomachs were rumbling, and Fubuki brought them both to the kitchen, settling Jun down on a chair so he could rummage through the well organised fridge. He pulled out a box labelled “friday” before Jun reminded him that it was one of Misawa’s lunchboxes and Fubuki wasn’t allowed to touch it.

Fubuki threw him a sheepish grin and put it back, going through the freezer as well. “I’m not that great at cooking, but-- ooh, pizza! Would you like margherita or pineapple?”

“...Pineapple.”

“Me too! I’ll pop it in the oven and it’ll be done in like 15 minutes.”

While they waited, Fubuki dried off Jun’s hair further, until it was so fluffy it stood in all directions, making the brunette coo at how cute it was. Jun dared a tiny smile and rolled his eyes at the man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've moved! My cats are doing relatively fine, Njord has only pooped on the floor twice so far which is very good for my anxiety ridden girl. Kalma is thriving, aside from when we were on a walk and he met another cat. We're going back out on another walk tomorrow to make sure he doesn't get too spooked, like he is with dogs and children. He hates children tbh. 
> 
> Also, D&D this weekend! If you get the chance, try playing D&D, it's a lot of fun with the right people.
> 
> Also, uuuh, my tumblr is now just like my twitter/instagram and tiktok "thepasteldyke", to keep it consistent.
> 
> I wanna write more interactions with Fubuki and Jun.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun and Fubuki talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost on schedule? Dang. Also, my baby brother and my best friend had birthdays this past weekend so it was busy.

After they had eaten and Fubuki had made sure Jun was properly rehydrated, he dragged him into the bedroom, specifically to cuddle, as the older man had stated with no shame. Apparently he thought Jun needed it, and who was Jun to say no when he’d gone so many years without caring physical contact. Until a few days ago when he ran into Juudai, it had been so many years since someone just… cared about him in earnest.

As they were settling down, he thought he heard Fubuki mumble something about showing him how real brothers are supposed to treat their siblings, before he swaddled him in the blankets both from the bed and the livingroom. Then he curled up next to him and wrapped his arms around the burrito Jun now was. He patted his head and for a while they just stayed there in silence.

Ten minutes later, Fubuki spoke again. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but… what happened?”

For a few seconds Jun’s heart started racing again at the memories of what brought him to this situation, but when Fubuki noticed he took his hands and guided him through deep breaths. Jun sighed, feeling pathetic. “It’s stupid.”

“I’m sure it isn’t.”

“You’re only saying that cus you don’t know.” He rolled over to lie on his back, Cheeseburger finally getting enough room to squish herself between the two men, making herself comfortable. Fubuki gave the hand he was still holding a firm squeeze, ensuring him that he wouldn’t mock him for whatever he was going to say. “I tried to leave the apartment but I freaked out. I just… my brothers are _right here_ , in this city, it just… it hit me that I could just… run into them at any time and I just. I just… ugh, it’s so pathetic.”

Fubuki pulled him into an awkward (due to the cat between them) but comforting hug. “It’s not pathetic. You’re traumatised, it’s okay for you to not feel okay, you know that right?”

“Asuka and Misawa never traumatised me, and I still puked on the train coming here.”

“Sure, but the brain doesn’t always make sense. I still get freaked out if I see certain things that remind me of Nightshroud, and it’s been years. But that doesn’t make me pathetic.” The difference was that he hadn’t had to go through it alone. He’d had his sister, his boyfriend and his friends. Jun hadn’t had anyone by his side for so long, terrified of the day his own family would realise he wasn’t actually dead. He would make sure he wouldn’t have to feel alone when he was afraid ever again.

\--

When Misawa came back home, Jun was sleeping, Fubuki’s arm draped over the nest of blankets while the older man hummed a silent tune. He carefully got out of bed so as to not wake the other up, and greeted Misawa with a low “hi” and a quick “he’s sleeping” when Misawa was about to ask him what he was doing there. They went into the kitchen where the dishes still needed to be washed after the pizza, but it was ignored for now.

“I think he had a panic attack,” Fubuki started, tone low so it didn’t carry all the way to the second bedroom. “He tried to leave the apartment but had to throw up, called me all freaked out. He’s a lot worse than we thought.”

“No surprise there, he needs a therapist. Do you think he’ll be willing to see one?”

Leaning back in the chair, Fubuki pulled a leg up to wrap his arms around in front of him. “Not the way he is right now. He’s too scared to go out of the apartment, I don’t think he’ll trust strangers for a little while. Maybe if the therapist came here and it was someone he could be ensured somehow he could trust, but… we should try.”

“Jun from high school would be way too stubborn to ever see one, but he’s a completely different person now. I think you’re right, it wouldn’t be pride stopping him this time.” Given by what they now knew of Jun’s family situation, Jun would have needed therapy back then already. Now the need for it had increased many times over.

“I’m gonna talk to Ryo about it. He’s seen a few therapists over the years, he might have some recommendations. I know he was really hesitant to see one at first, but he’s a lot better for it. Still my stubborn nerd though.”

That had Misawa smile and chuckle. “I doubt he’ll ever stop being stubborn. But at least he knows how to handle his emotions now.”

“And for that I’m thankful. I love him to bits but he needed help I couldn’t give him at the time.” He twirled a curl of hair around his finger as he mulled over their options. “I’m gonna give Ryo a call, tell him I’m staying here for a few hours longer, ask him to look through his therapists. Can you call Juudai, ask him to come over, spend the night? I think Jun-kun needs him right now, Asuka said they’ve gotten extremely close since Juudai found him.”

“Of course. He really didn’t want to leave yesterday, so I’m sure he’ll be eager to.”

“Okay. You go change out of your work clothes and I’ll call Ryo from here. I’ll go wake Jun-kun up when we’re done with the calls, give him a heads up on if Juudai shows. If he can’t come I’ll stay the night instead. I know you’re not comfortable sharing beds with people just like that.”

“Thank you. I’ll be back as soon as I’ve called him.”

\--

Juudai was in the middle of a smash bros battle with Syo and Kenzan when the phone called. With so much else on his mind, he was, for once, losing. He couldn’t help it, he felt like he should be in a completely different part of the city, messy black hair and tired, sad eyes the last thing he’d seen of the friend he’d been missing for so many years.

He answered, phone pressed between ear and shoulder as he moved the controls of the switch. “‘Lo?”

_ “Is this you, Juudai?” _ Instantly, Juudai lowered the controllers, Isabelle falling off the screen and respawning without moving. Syo and Kenzan paused, looking at him.

“Daichi? Did something happen to Jun?”

_“Not anything serious, but… it seems like Jun had some sort of panic attack and called Fubuki. Fubuki’s wondering if you would be willing to spend the night?”_

“Crap. Of course. I’ll be right over. See you in a little bit.” He hung up and quickly stood up. “Sorry guys, I gotta go.”

He ensured them that it wasn’t anything too bad so they wouldn’t worry too much, and then he was out of there.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun and Fubuki do some talking, balls start rolling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning on updating yesterday but my anxiety kitty Njord decided it was hold-me-in-your-arms-like-a-baby snuggle time. Also, got blood drawn for antibody test and I was more scared having my blood drawn than having my tongue pierced. Or any of my other piercings or tattoos.

Jun woke up to someone nudging his shoulder. He was warm, almost sweaty but not uncomfortably so, but he was tired. His head and throat hurt like all hell, and with a foggy brain he turned his head to look at Fubuki. Oh, right, he’d called him and then he’d helped him clean up and calm down. That explained why he didn’t feel so gross anymore after puking his guts out.

“Hey sleepyhead, how’re you doing? Daichi’s making dinner, it’ll be done in about 10 minutes.” Slowly, Jun peeled the layers of his cocoon off with some help from the brunette. “Juudai’s joining us for dinner and staying the night since I gotta go.”

The confusion was obvious in Jun’s eyes. “What does you leaving have to do with Juudai staying over?” The gears still turned too slowly when he was so freshly awake after such a draining day, he couldn’t come up with a reason.

“You’ve been traumatised so much Jun-kun, the state you’re in mentally now that you’re here in Tokyo is tearing you apart.” Fubuki could see that Jun wanted to protest, but he shut his mouth again, because in the end he knew that Fubuki was right. Otherwise he wouldn’t have reacted the way he did when trying to just open the goddamn front door. “And company obviously made you feel better, so while Ryo helps you find a therapist you can trust, we’ll be there for you, as much as you need.”

“He’s looking for a therapist for me? I, uh, he’d do that for me?” They’d never been close either, it felt strange to think that Ryo would go out of his way to help him find a therapist. He’d never been to one, his older brothers thinking therapy was a proof of weakness. He’d never even seen a school counselor before about any of the issues he’d had through his life, out of fear that they would find out. He needed to have a spotless record, he couldn’t tarnish the Manjoume name in case someone found out he’d needed <i>help</i> with something. And so, he’d just stayed away from mental health professionals entirely.

“Of course. Ryo’s had a lot of experience with therapists himself, he’ll find someone you can trust to talk to even before we get everything sorted and your brothers aren’t a danger to you anymore.”

“If I use my real name on anything with a database they might find me, I can’t just… do that.”

“That’s why we’re gonna find a way around it. I’m sure Ryo has some ideas about that.”

Their conversation tapered out after that, Fubuki brushing through the mess that was Jun’s bedhead with his fingers when the doorbell rang. They heard Misawa open the door and him and Juudai talking, so finally Jun got out of bed. Before even going to greet Juudai, he felt like he needed to brush his teeth.

Fubuki told him to join them in the living room when he was ready, and left Jun on his own for the time being. When he closed the bathroom door behind himself he stared into the mirror. He looked terrible, he could see why Fubuki would think he was falling apart even if he hadn’t been there to witness most of it firsthand. And since he had seen what happened, he knew his mind was in turmoil. He felt stupid, but tried to tell himself it was just his brain being terrible. He hurried his toothbrushing to avoid thinking about it before he started panicking again, and moved toward the living room. He met Cheeseburger on the way there, and she let him take her in his arms.

He was greeted by a happy “hi” from Juudai as he entered the room. He slid into the seat on the couch next to his friend. “Uh, hey. You’re gonna stay tonight?”

“Yep! I’d share a bed with you anytime you need me to.”

Jun felt his cheeks burn, and pointedly ignored the amused looks Misawa and Fubuki exchanged. Asuka already knew something was going on between him and Juudai, it was only a matter of time before the others did too. Especially with how loose lipped Juudai seemed to be. For a few seconds, everyone was silent, until Misawa got up and asked Juudai to help him set the table for dinner.

It was obvious right away that Fubuki had something to tell him.

“Asuka found a lawyer that’s gonna help you. You don’t have to worry about the fees or anything, it’s someone who works for Pegasus. Hayato knows her. She’s coming to Tokyo tomorrow. I know we’re moving fast with this and you can tell me if you’re not ready yet and want to push it, she was coming to town anyway, so it’s okay if you don’t want to do it so soon.”

“Al...already?”

“The longer you wait the more unsafe you’re gonna feel, most likely. Asuka will be there, and me or Juudai can come with you if you want. Or any of us, whoever would make you the most comfortable. But Asuka will be with you every meeting unless you want her to wait outside or the lawyer needs it for something. But we’ll help you all the way with this, as much as you need, okay?”

Jun buried his fingers in Cheeseburger’s fur, scratching her back as he took a couple of deep breaths. “Can I… think about it?”

“Of course. Just let me know til tomorrow afternoon, okay? The meeting’s at three, so you’ve got a little while to decide.”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t worry about it. We won’t just leave you to deal with this alone, I promise.”

Soon after that they were called into the kitchen for dinner, and Jun set Cheeseburger down on a pillow on the couch. Can’t have her in his arms and eat at the same time, at least not when he wasn’t alone. When he was alone and felt like shit, he sometimes let her be there though.

Once they were all seated, Juudai was the first to dig in, because of course he was. He’d never been able to help himself when it came to a good meal, and it smelled delicious. In less than a minute they were all eating, Juudai and Fubuki helping with keeping the flow of the conversation easy. By the end of dinner nothing was left and Fubuki had to leave. He gave all of them hugs, Jun’s lasting a couple of extra beats. Misawa decided to do the dishes and kicked them out of the kitchen so he could listen to some science podcast. Jun saw just enough of his face to pick up that he wanted the two of them to be alone, too, and it wasn’t  _ just _ the podcast.

Some people didn’t know how to be subtle.

Well, he didn’t use to know that either, so who was he to talk.

They migrated to what was now Jun’s bedroom, since that’s where Cheeseburger had decided to move to, and Juudai sat down on the bed, flopping down next to the cat. Jun remained sitting, running his fingers through orange fur. 

“Tenjouin-san told me that a lawyer’s coming tomorrow. Apparently it’s someone Maeda knows. Asuka-kun is taking me there.”

“Oh, cool. I’m glad they found someone who can help you so quickly.”

“Yeah, uh… I’m not sure if I can do it yet.”

Juudai placed his hand over his, Cheeseburger letting out a small chirp as the weight on her side increased. “I’m sure she won’t be mad if you need more time.”

“Tenjouin-san said so too.”

“But you’re nervous?” Jun nodded, making a face. He felt pathetic again.

“I’ve got to do it eventually, but it’s just… a lot is happening so fast. Marufuji-sempai is finding me a therapist, too.” Juudai was about to speak again when Jun came to think of something else. “Did either of them take each other’s names? It didn’t say on their instagrams, and I didn’t really check anywhere else.”

“Yeah, Ryo’s a Tenjouin too now. Apparently their dad was kinda shit, so he was happy to take Fubuki’s.”

“Does… Sho think the same?”

“I don’t think so, apparently he doesn’t remember that much about their dad. Him, Ryo and their mum saw a family therapist for a while, and most of the stuff they talked about he had no idea about.”

He didn’t go into more detail than that, but Jun understood why. If Sho wanted him to know more about it he’d tell him himself. He knew all about that kind of stuff. If he was smart he would ask Sho what therapy was like, but asking him when they’d never gotten along felt too awkward. He’d think about it.

“Even though he had only woken up an hour or so ago, Jun’s body decided that right then was prime time to yawn right in Juudai’s face. Juudai laughed. “It’s getting pretty late, let’s go to bed. You can sleep on what you wanna do tomorrow.”

“Fine. Let’s go sleep if you’re so tired.” Juudai stuck out his tongue at him and proceeded to go to the bathroom to brush his teeth. In the meantime, Jun changed into sleepwear, a small smile on his face. It changed into a blush when Juudai showed back up in nothing but his underwear.

“I know you own pajamas, Juudai.” The brunette gave him a sheepish grin and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Oh! Yeah, I forgot my stuff at Sho and Kenzan’s place. You okay with me sleeping like this?”

Jun waved him off, pretending to be nonchalant about the whole thing. “It’s just sleeping.”

“Yep. I’m not gonna do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

Jun rolled his eyes and crawled under the covers, Juudai following suit on the other side.

“Good night Juudai.”

“Sweet dreams, Jun.”


	18. Chapter 18

When Jun woke up it was like the world had been bathed in neon. The colours stung his eyes with their brightness and he had to shield them from their glow. He wasn’t sure what was going on, but he noticed Juudai still sleeping next to him. He too was brightly coloured, and when Jun reached out a hand toward the brunette whose hair was now a blinding orange that seemed to radiate its own colour, he noticed that only his own body lacked in colour.

In fact, he held no colour at all. His skin was completely white, his clothing different shades of gray. It was like all the colour had been drained out of him and disappeared into the world around him.

He sat up at the sound of a voice, only to be faced with nothing. “Who do you think you are, sharing a bed with Juudai all the time?” The voice was all around him, coming from all directions, coming from  _ inside him _ . It made his body tense and he lowered his hand again. Suddenly the voice was right in his ears, echoing in his head; “What do you want from him?”

He froze, unable to move. It was like cold fingers had wrapped around his throat, not yet squeezing, but grip tight enough to signal a threat.

“I… I care about him.”

The voice hissed in his ear, grip on him tightening ever so slightly. “I remember you. You were terrible to him. Why would I believe that you’ve changed now?”

The voice remembered him? Was it someone who knew him? If the voice was going off how he behaved in high school, he was just as good as dead. He took in a shivering breath and closed his eyes. If he strained his ears he could hear a faint hum that he couldn’t identify the location of. It sounded like the voice of a woman, at the same time similar but completely different from the voice who had just spoken to him through his mind. But it was something…

“I was an asshole. I don’t know how to get you to believe me, but I’ve grown since then. I’m still an idiot, but I like him. And… I was too scared to admit to myself that I liked him even back then. But now, I… I think I might want to tell him.”

With a harsh shove he was pushed onto his back, and he was face to face with a woman, a card spirit. Memories tugged at the back of his mind, but it was like they were blocked from surfacing. The hand on his throat squeezed hard for a second before letting go. “If you hurt him, I’ll make sure you won’t be able to rest even in the afterlife.

And then she was gone, leaving Jun to stare with wide eyes into the bright pink ceiling.

-

At some point the image of the neon coloured bedroom morphed into one where no colour existed. He was haunted by shadows and the voices of his brothers. What felt like years later, he couldn’t remember much of anything.

-

When Jun woke up it was to a soft smile on Juudai’s lips, and a purring cat between their legs. The blanket must have been pushed down at their feet while they were sleeping, and Juudai had propped himself up on an arm. “Hey. I intercepted Cheeseburger just before five, she’s had breakfast already so don’t let her trick you.”

Jun smiled back, though his cheeks flushed when he realised Juudai must have watched him sleep. “You nerd, she’ll have you trained in no time.”

“I don’t mind, hanging around her means I get to spend time with you.” That only made Jun’s cheeks grow even hotter and judging by the look on Juudai’s face they were bright red.

“Dork.”

The brunette shifted closer, careful not to disturb Cheeseburger. “You know you love it.”

They stared into each other's eyes, silence enveloping them as the sun was rising. Warm colours slowly filled the room, lighting Juudai’s skin with a soft glow. For a moment Jun threw his hesitance away and leaned forward, pressing his lips against the other’s.

It was gentle and careful, Juudai’s lips soft against his own. Hands ran through his hair, making sure not to tug at any knots that might have come to during the night. Jun shifted closer, wrapping his arm over Juudai’s side and tugging him closer until they were chest to chest, nothing but Jun’s t-shirt inbetween.

The sun warmed their skin as Jun moved his legs to either side of Juudai’s body, deepening the kiss until it felt like they were melding together. Juudai’s arms wrapped around Jun, pressing their bodies as close as the world could allow.

They only parted once the need for air grew too big, and Jun looked down into the other’s deep brown eyes. Juudai’s lips were swollen and his cheeks tinted red, eyes half open as he looked up at him. Suddenly embarrassed, Jun flopped down on top of him, hiding his face in his neck.

“Holy shit…” he whispered, and Juudai laughed happily.

“You kissed me.” Jun’s nose rubbed against the brunette’s collarbone and he murmured a ‘shut up’, which only made Juudai laugh more. He was turned over so they were lying on their sides, facing each other again, and Juudai pressed a soft and quick kiss to Jun’s lips. “Just so you know, I’d let you kiss me any time you want.”

Jun narrowed his eyes, pretending like his face wasn’t on fire. “You’re so embarrassing, oh my god.” But he followed it up with another kiss, because damn it if he wasn’t going to take every opportunity to kiss him now, after he had waited for so many years.

-

Breakfast was a relaxing affair. Misawa was already at the table when they arrived, Cheeseburger having ditched Jun’s bedroom and joined the former Ra Yellow student by means of sitting on the chair next to him, paw gently tapping his leg for attention once in a while. It made Jun smile to see her world grow and more people entering it.

Misawa himself smiled and gave the cat a knowing look when they entered, but didn’t say anything. They ate together mostly in silence, talking about unimportant things when it was broken. Soon enough Misawa had to leave for work, and he left the other two alone in the apartment.

When they started to get ready for the day and got back into the bedroom, Jun recalled his dream. He was sure he’d seen the card spirit before, and now that he was awake, he knew it had to have been more than a dream. Juudai was being protected by a card spirit much more aggressive than Winged Kuriboh, but he couldn’t for the life of him remember her name. It was nagging him at the back of his mind.

He didn’t get much time to think about it though, not when Juudai asked if he wanted to go to the gym before the meeting, try to distract himself from thinking too hard about it. Misawa’s building had its own gym, so he wouldn’t have to actually go into the city, which was… honestly both good and bad. He had to leave at some point, but he could wait with doing it for another few hours. Because even though he’d been told he didn’t have to go, he knew it was better to start now than to wait. Then he might  _ really _ become unable to ever leave the apartment. So he’d just have to deal with it. God, he didn’t look forward to it.

-

The gym was located on the top floor of the apartment building. Knowing that his objective was to go there rather than to head to the street made a world’s difference, compared to yesterday when he’d tried to go out into the city. He felt sick at first, but when they finally got into the gym his body started relaxing again. His brothers couldn’t get him here, nor would they employ anyone who lived in this area. At least it wasn’t likely, his brothers had always been snobs about that. He’d found it weird as a kid but had parroted it for a while anyways, hoping following their lead would make them like him, or at least  _ tolerate _ him. Now he knew it was ridiculous, and they just disliked people who didn’t have as much money as they did. At the same time they really hated people who had  _ more _ money than them, so it was a thin line to balance when he tried to keep up on who he had to hate.

This gym was spacious and clean, and there were notes on a cork board with a schedule where he could see all the people who used it helping out to keep it that way. Misawa’s apartment number was seen often on the board, which wasn’t strange considering he found it relaxing to clean. Jun couldn’t relate. 

Juudai was about to beeline straight for the treadmill when Jun grabbed him by the back of his tank top. “Hey, don’t skip out on stretching, dumbass.”

Juudai grinned and spun around to give him a peck on the lips. “Right! I always forget about that.” The grin on his face grew even bigger when he saw the flush on Jun’s face.

Jun jabbed him in the side with his elbow, trying to hide the dumb smile on his face. “Well, try to remember it next time.”

-

They worked out until Jun was tired all the way to the bone. They hadn’t really spoken, and Jun had let his mind go blissfully numb. They stretched, showered and cooled down, and by the time they were redressed and had caught their breaths, there were only two hours left.

“Hey, if you want to, wanna go out for lunch? We’ll go somewhere low key, sit away from the windows.”

Anxiety churned inside his stomach, but he nodded after a few seconds of contemplation. “I think that’s best. The earlier I get out of here the better.” Misawa’s apartment had everything he needed, he could avoid going outside for weeks if he let someone else shop for groceries. And he knew that if he let that happen his psyche would just get worse and worse.

“I know a perfect place. It’s really small, got really good food, there’s no chance anyone who works for your brothers would be there.” He took Jun by the hand. A satisfied smile made its way onto Juudai’s face as Jun adjusted the grip to lace their fingers together.

“Shut up, let’s just go.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

-

Leaving the apartment had made Jun feel sick. His grip on Juudai’s hand had been crushing, and he’d have apologised had he been able to speak. Once they were down on the bottom floor he had to gather himself, crouching down into a ball while still having his hand in Juudai’s. Thankfully he didn’t throw up this time when they walked out into the spring air. Outside the front door he had to take another few steadying breaths, and then he turned to ask Juudai to lead the way. Juudai in turn told him to let him know if it ever got too much.

The walk took around five minutes and he spent all of them with a tense body and his mind on high alert. Finally, Juudai led him into a small and cosy restaurant, and the atmosphere helped him slowly relax again. They ate and conversed about unimportant things, keeping the mood light. It was relaxing, and when they walked out of there hand in hand, the anxiety was still there, but not quite as bone deep.

There was only 40 minutes until the meeting with Asuka and the lawyer left now, and Juudai asked if he wanted him to join it. Jun shook his head, but asked if he could walk him there. He didn’t think he could handle going there on his own. He might be feeling better, but going over to where Asuka and Ryo’s offices where, where the meeting would be held, was nerve wracking.

“Of course. I’ll show you the way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That kissing scene was super hard to write, I haven't written one in so long. Also, next chapter is gonna feature lawyer and I have no idea what I'm doing so. Uh. There's that. Wish me luck.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting the lawyer.

The sound of Jun’s leg bouncing was the only thing that could be heard in the room. There was no sound of a clock, not when the one in Asuka’s office was the type that moved soundlessly in everlasting circles. Juudai had left him in Asuka’s care with a hug and a loud kiss on the cheek, Asuka grinning when she saw it. Jun’s face had been bright red.

The lawyer was scheduled to arrive any minute now, and waiting was driving Jun off the wall. He watched the clock on the wall intently while they waited, then started to drum his nails against the table.

Finally a knock could be heard on the door and a tall woman was let in by Asuka’s assistant. She introduced herself as Watanabe Hiroko and due to being a woman with a tight schedule, they got right into it. She had already been forwarded the photos Juudai had taken of his scars, so now they needed to prepare as much information and evidence as they could before they brought their case to the police. When she mentioned that they had to go to the police Jun felt like he was going to be sick, and Asuka was quick enough to shove her trash can into his lap. They had to take a break after that, and he felt his face grow hot with shame. Here he was, wasting both Watanabe and Asuka’s time, making them wait while he tried not to break into tears. His chest felt tight with fear as he sat back down in the chair next to his friend, and she took his hand.

This was going to be a long few hours.

-

Honestly, he blacked out for the rest of the meeting. Everything inside his head was so jumbled up that he couldn’t remember much except the feelings of fear and anxiety. He’d spent years running away from his brothers, and now he was about to face them and try to take them to court? It was a nightmare. He longed for that happy fuzzy feeling from this morning, before this shitshow of a meeting.

Asuka stayed with him in her office after Watanabe left, while he lay flat on his back on the floor, with no idea how he ended up there. He stared into the ceiling, his hand in Asuka’s clammy and cold. She guided him through breathing techniques that had him struggling for some time before he could breathe smoothly again.

Letting go of her hand, he rolled over on his stomach to painstakingly get up on his feet and onto the couch that was standing against the wall. “I, uh. Sorry, I… I spaced out. Did I ruin everything?” 

“No Jun, you didn’t, don’t worry. But I think we need to get you to a therapist as soon as possible. If you don’t get help well in advance of any potential court appearance you’re not gonna be okay when it actually happens. I’ll talk to Ryo about it tonight.”

The thought of it made Jun’s chest feel tight with trepidation. The need to avoid any sort of mental health professional was so ingrained into his mind at this point that it made him feel like he was going to throw up again. “I’ve never… I’ve never talked to one, I don’t know… how to, how to talk to one?”

“You never even talked to the school counselor? High school was chaos at times, they even called in extra counselors after some of the things that happened.”

Jun rested his head against the backrest of the couch and closed his eyes, thinking back on what his brothers had said all his life. A heavy feeling pressed into his gut as he tried to discard what was now instinct. “I wasn’t allowed to. My brothers forbid me cus it would reflect poorly on them if it ever got out I had even a  _ hint _ of mental issues. So I just avoided it entirely.”

Asuka hummed quietly where she sat next to him on the couch. “Your behaviour in high school makes more sense knowing they made you think that way about getting help. Don’t worry though, therapists are supposed to take things at the pace the patient is most comfortable with, and you don’t have to talk about things before you’re ready. If you want, you can talk about it with Ryo, nii-san, Syo or Daichi. Syo’s only been to family therapy though, but I’m sure he could still tell you a few things about what it’s like.”

“Tenjouin-san’s seen a therapist?”

The surprise on his face must have been plain to see, as it had Asuka chuckling, a slight but sad smile on her face. “After Nightshroud, his mind might’ve been back, but he’d still been through a lot. Especially when he duelled Ryo to try to snap him out of the whole Kaiser thing. After graduation he saw a therapist for a few years. Him and Ryo went as a couple too for a while, before they got married. Apparently he really recommends it.”

“Even though they were doing okay?”

“Yeah, it helps you get better at communicating, among other things.” She stood up, stretching with her arms up high. “Come on, I’ll drive you home. I’ve got the car in the garage.”

For a second his mind went to the apartment he’d left behind just a few days ago, before realising she meant Misawa’s apartment. Did this mean Misawa really was okay with him staying a longer time? He felt a slight warmth inside his chest at the thought of a home where he could still see his friends, and maybe even live without fear one day.

He nodded and Asuka held out a hand to help him up on his feet. “Okay.”

-

When they arrived at the apartment he was now sharing with Misawa, it was later than he’d expected. It was dark outside during the drive, and the apartment was quiet when he stepped inside, Asuka giving him a hug goodbye before he locked the door behind him.

Misawa was sitting in an armchair with a book, the only light that was on beside him to give him proper light while he read. Juudai lay snoring on the couch, Cheeseburger perched on his back, also sleeping, her little nose pressing against the brunette’s t-shirt.

The former Ra Yellow student gave him a friendly smile and motioned for him to join them. Jun sat down in the armchair that was still free, pulling his legs up to his chest. “You doing okay?”

He was going to respond with an automatic yes, but took a few moments to think about it. It was more complicated than a simple yes or no answer. “I don’t remember what happened during the meeting. I just… shut off. Asuka-kun is gonna make sure Marufuji-sempai finds me a therapist soon.”

Misawa nods, putting the book on his lap but leaving it open, a sign that he was listening, but wasn’t going to pressure him if he wasn’t comfortable. “She said… uh… I’ve never… talked to anyone working with mental stuff, she said… you’ve seen one?”

He was relieved that he didn’t have to explain why again when it’d only been a while ago since he first told Asuka about it. She was the first one he’d ever told about it, and baring so many secrets after so long, in a span of just a little over a week, was almost overwhelming. “Yes. I’ll tell you anything you want to know about how it works, if you’d like.”

“Yeah, I think I’d like that. Just, uh, I don’t think I can do much more talking or listening tonight though.”

“I understand. Just come to me whenever you want though, okay?” Relief flooded Jun’s senses. It felt like the first step toward being able to even open his mouth in the presence of a mental health professional, which was going to be its own mountain to cross, probably in just a few days time with how fast everything was moving now.

“Okay. I’m gonna, uh. Go to bed now.” He stood up, and gave both cat and human on the couch a nudge. Cheeseburger woke up with a chirp and let him take her in his arms. Juudai was slower to wake up, but when he did it was with a million watt smile and he lazily wrapped his arms around his waist without getting up. “Jhnnn, wec’m hoooome.” 

Jun’s cheeks flushed red and he pinched the brunette’s nose, Cheeseburger moving to drape over Jun’s shoulders. “Come on slacker, you’re supposed to sleep in bed, not here.”

“Mmkay…” Juudai moved his face to rub against his hand as if he were the sleepy cat, not Cheeseburger. After hearing Jun’s embarrassed sputtering he finally got up and let himself be dragged toward the bedroom. Jun saw the amused grin on Misawa’s face and mouthed a ‘shut up’, though it only made the grin grow bigger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cheated cus I'm still researching how Japan's legal system works, my bad. Also, I finished listening to TaZ amnesty and I loved it. Lukewarm about one of the final ships, but absolutely in love with a different one lmao. Aubrey and Indrid are my favs.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's go to Shinagawa!

Ryo’s morning started with Fubuki rolling over in his sleep so he was lying on top of him in an uncomfortable position. He was impressed by Fubuki’s ability to sleep in any imaginable position, but did his head really have to push on his bladder this time?

Reaching over to the phone on the nightstand he checked the time. It was almost time to get up anyway, so he shuffled himself free from Fubuki with some struggle, since the man decided to move again and wrap his arms around him. Standing up he stretched, rubbing against the faded lichtenberg scars on his neck when it ached from how he must have had his head while sleeping. They were little more than a redness sprawling over his body now, but it was a constant reminder of his actions after graduation.

He shook Fubuki’s shoulder gently, knowing the man wasn’t fond of mornings, and when he roused he let him know he’d come back again in ten minutes, and he  _ would _ drag him out of bed if he had to. He only got a hum in response as the brunette rubbed at his eyes and yawned when he gave his husband’s forehead a kiss before leaving the room.

After going to the bathroom and brushing his teeth he started the coffee maker, idly watching the beans get crushed for a few seconds before he started to prepare breakfast. Just when he finished and was about to go get Fubuki out of bed, arms wrapped around him and a warm body pushed against his back. “Mmm, morn’. Smells good.”

“Morning to you too” Ryo hummed and turned around in the embrace, one mug of coffee in each hand. Fubuki’s lips sought out his own, but Ryo dodged, the kiss landing squarely on his jaw instead. “Not before brushing your teeth.”

“Ryoooo, you’re  _ literally _ the only human on earth who brushes their teeth before breakfast.”

“Mhm. I stand by it.” Fubuki giggled and left a trail of kisses all over Ryo’s face, aside from his lips before snatching one of the mugs out of Ryo’s hand. 

“You’re so silly. I love you.”

Ryo combed through Fubuki’s long hair with his now free hand, his husband practically purring as his nails ran over his scalp. “I love you too.”

It was Saturday, and the sun was shining full force through the window by the kitchen table where they sat opposite of each other. A bunch of books were stacked along the windowsill, a duel monsters figurine that hadn’t gotten a designated spot perched on top of one of the thicker volumes. Ryo read the newspaper while Fubuki watched him with a smile on his face, ignoring the pages in front of his own seat. 

“I was thinking… What if we played DnD tonight? I know you want to try it.”

“I get off work at two this afternoon, so sure. Who else?” Ever since Fubuki had started to DM he’d been begging Ryo to join, and he’d helped him make a character sheet that was just waiting for the right time to be used.

“Kenzan, Sho, Daichi, Rei and Mizuchi, of course” the regular players, “And then you, Juudai, Jun and Asuka, if they wanna join.” That’d be a huge party, but if Fubuki was willing to try it, who was he to stop him?

“Just make sure you tell everyone there’s going to be a lot of players. Did you want to invite them here?” Fubuki nods enthusiastically, and pulls out his phone to text people to see if they’re available. Then he puts it back down so they can finish eating, and he finally pays attention to the news.

-

When Jun got a text from Fubuki around 8 in the morning he hadn’t expected it to include an invitation to play dungeons and dragons. He’d never played it before, but when he asked Juudai about it he found out that Juudai had played it a few times, and it was a lot of fun.

Misawa knocked on the door a few minutes later, and asked them if they were planning on joining. Juudai happily said yes, though Jun wanted to think about it for a minute. He searched up some info on the internet while Juudai was in the shower, and by the time he himself was dressed for the day he agreed, curiosity piqued.

The smile on Misawa’s face when he told the others he’d join was bright, and he went to get a box with all manners of stuff, alongside a few books. “I’ll show you how to make a character.”

-

Asuka and Mizuchi ended up picking them up directly from the apartment that evening. Jun and Juudai had taken a walk outside during the day, but taking public transit right now would put Jun on edge and would make him enjoy the game less, especially if he had to think about the journey back, but he still needed to go outside so he didn’t just stay inside all day, and he held on tightly to Juudai’s hand as he looked over his shoulder in the direction he knew his brothers worked.

They arrived at the Tenjouin home around five in the afternoon. It was a pretty small house in Shinagawa, and Asuka parked at a nearby parking lot, leading the way to the three story house, ringing the doorbell but not waiting for anyone else to open, unlocking the door with her own key. Ryo had just about reached the genkan when she swung the door open, an amused smile at the surprised look on his face. “He didn’t tell you I agreed to come, did he?”

“He only told me who he invited, not who accepted.” He smiled at his guests and invited them inside, although Asuka was already sitting down to take off her shoes. Mizuchi gave Ryo a kiss on the cheek in greeting as she went inside to seek out Fubuki upstairs.

Soon enough everyone was around the table one floor above the garage. Asuka, Ryo and Jun were the only ones who had never played before, though the other two had more knowledge about it thanks to Fubuki and Mizuchi. Jun felt out of his element, but still excited. He hadn’t played much games at all while he was in hiding. A few phone games maybe, but since he had avoided making friends he hadn’t been able to play anything social. Which is why he was both nervous and excited when Fubuki, in a dramatic flourish, started narrating.

“It’s a dark and stormy night when you’ve gathered at the Cloven Hoof tavern. In front of you is a young human woman, who has offered you a quest too interesting to ignore. Maybe you’re in search of adventure or of gold, but surely, this quest promises both in droves. She needs you to come with her to a haunted mansion, where people enter only to never come out. She-”

“Is she hot?” Rei had no qualms about cutting Fubuki off, asking the most important question of all.

Fubuki raises an eyebrow where he stands at the head of the table so he can tower over his players for dramatic effect. “Roll for it.”

The games had begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just really really miss playing D&D, so... ehem.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Therapy time.

It was the morning of his first therapy appointment. The day after the evening of D&D he’d spent with Juudai, Syo and Kenzan. They’d played video games at Syo and Kenzan’s apartment, and then him and Juudai had just walked around, as much as his mind was able to handle. It was still stressful, but it was becoming a tiny bit easier each time they went outside. He knew that if he stayed inside a single day he’d take several steps back again, and his stubbornness was the only thing keeping him from locking himself in his bedroom to hide away forever.

He woke up with Juudai’s arms wrapped around him, his cheek pressed to Jun’s chest. Jun gently combed through the tangles in Juudai’s hair, until it was as smooth as it could get without a brush. He was humming quietly, a song Misawa had been playing on the radio last night while they cleaned up after dinner together. His eyes had fallen shut after a while, fingers running over Juudai’s scalp as he was lulled back to sleep by the calm of the morning.

*

When he woke up again it was to kisses all over his face, and when he gave a surprised but happy good morning Juudai went in for the lips. Jun laughed against the lips on his own, pressing closer to the other man as he kissed his way down his jaw. Together they worked the shirt off his body and Juudai continued downward. Jun’s fingers buried into Juudai’s hair.

*

The man in front of him was one of Ryo’s old therapists, and Jun spent the first ten minutes of the meeting unable to even open his mouth, not even to introduce himself. They were meeting in Ryo’s office, and he had told them to use it as long as they wanted to. 

The problem was that Jun didn’t know how to do this. Taking care of his mental health had never been something he’d been taught to do, and he’d been raised to avoid professionals who were supposed to help with that like his life depended on it. Technically it had. Kind of still did, if his brothers saw his name pop up somewhere. Though he doubted they were looking, he still felt so scared to bare himself and his feelings to this man.

The therapist was patient, and let him take his time. He spent the time Jun was silent introducing himself as Inaba Takara, and then telling him more about himself, in hope of getting Jun to warm up a little. Ryo must have told him a little bit about how Jun had been raised, with that amount of patience with someone who didn’t even say a word in response to anything he said. Or were all therapists like this? He’d talked a little bit about them with Syo yesterday, but this hadn’t really come up and he had chickened out of asking anyone else. 

Time ticked by, and he felt himself getting more and more stressed by not speaking. He wanted to say something, he really did, he just didn’t know how to get there. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, before finally blurting something out after 20 minutes of complete silence on his part. “My brothers taught me not to talk to people like you and then they tried to kill me so I really shouldn’t listen to what they said to me or care at all but I’m freaking the fuck out here and I don’t know how to stop caring about what they said to me my whole life, I know it’s stupid but even though they think I’m dead and they actually think  _ they _ did it I can’t stop thinking about that they’d think--” He had to stop, losing his breath. There, he’d said something, even if he wasn’t sure the therapist had caught the entirety of it.

“Sorry, I, I just don’t... don’t know how to… t-talk to you.”

“It’s okay to be scared. If it’s something you were taught for a long time it’s hard to let go of just like that. You need to work on letting go of it, but things like that take a lot of work.”

“But it’s been  _ years _ , I should’ve gotten better by now, at least a little bit, but I wasted so much time just  _ sitting _ here like a pathetic idiot.”

The therapist handed him a box of tissues, Jun blowing his nose and drying the tears he hadn’t even noticed he’d started shedding with how worked up he was getting.

“Often, things can get worse if we just let it sit and fester without any sort of treatment. It’s not strange for you to get worse due to this, so it’s nothing to tear yourself down about. We’ll work on this if you’re comfortable with it, as long as it’s needed.”

“Oh. Uh. Thank you.”

“No problem.”

-

Disregarding the rough start of the meeting, it went better than he could have expected. He didn’t have a panic attack, didn’t throw up. The therapist went forward in a very slow pace, not pushing him more than he was able to handle. It was still a relief when it was over though, and he collapsed on the couch in Ryo’s office once it was just him in there.

-

He must have fallen asleep in there, because when he became aware of his surroundings again it was to the sound of the clacking of a keyboard, and when he opened his eyes he saw Ryo by his desk, working without paying his previously sleeping form any attention, just letting him sleep. A blanket had been draped across Jun’s body, and he kept it wrapped over his back and shoulders when he sat up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

He felt Ryo’s eyes on him, the sound of typing pausing for a moment before the teal haired man spoke. “I’ll drive you home when you’re ready, but don’t feel like you have to rush, I’ll be done with this in fifteen minutes, I’ve got more things I can do in case you need more time.”

“Hey, sorry, I didn’t think I’d fall asleep.”

“I did after my first few sessions as well, I wasn’t surprised. It takes a toll on you dealing with so many emotions at once.” He paused for a moment before motioning to the table in front of Jun. “There’s tea in that thermos if you want it.”

“Oh. Thank you.”

A mug was standing next to the thermos, and Jun poured himself some. He’d never spent time alone with Ryo before, so this was a strange experience, even if you discounted the therapy session that had brought him into the other man’s office.

“Did you, uh. How long did you… see a therapist?”

“Since shortly after Syo graduated. I still see one now, though it’s once a month rather than once a week. I saw Inaba-sensei twice a week for a year.”

“Did it… help?”

“A lot. Some times are better than others, and I have to go in more often, but I’m mostly stable now. The medication helps too.”

Jun was surprised he told him that. It wasn’t something you just  _ talked _ about. But he supposed there was a reason behind it now. “I didn’t know you took medication.”

“I have for three years.”

“I don’t know if, if I could, I mean…”

“They won’t put you on medication right away, and only if you really need it. There’s nothing wrong with needing it.”

That’s when Jun realised how his words might be taken, and he grips the mug tighter. “I didn’t mean to be disrespectful or anything, I mean, uh, I just, I wasn’t allowed to even  _ talk _ about my mental health, they’d have killed me if I took meds. Which I mean, they tried to kill me either way, so I guess that doesn’t matter. I just meant, I didn’t mean to be rude to you.”

“I understand, don’t worry about it.”

“Right. Um. Sorry. Thank you. For the tea. And for talking to me a bit about this stuff.”

“No problem. I’ll give you my number in case you want to talk more about this.” The sound of a computer turning off chimed between them, and Ryo shut the laptop in front of him. “Now, let’s get you home. I’m sure Juudai is waiting for you.”

“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost named the therapist after the main character in Elegant Yokai Apartment Life cus I've been rewatching the anime lately. So *I just gave him half his name.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A low-key chapter before a big one next time.

A week had passed since his first therapy session. In that time he’d had one more session and him and Asuka had just finished another meeting with the lawyer. In his book this one had gone a lot better, as he had managed to not empty his stomach, but he was still emotionally drained.

There was a knock on the door and Fubuki popped his head inside, beaming at the two people in the room. “Hey. I was wondering if you wanted to join me and Ryo for lunch. We’re getting a mani pedi after, I’ll treat you if you join.”

Asuka raised an eyebrow at her brother. “Ryo is getting a mani pedi?”

“Okay, he’s only getting a mani, he doesn’t like when people touch his feet. But still, he’s coming. So, how about you two? You can just come for the lunch part if you’d rather not.”

“Uhhh, I guess? I can come with you?” It was another thing his brothers hadn’t allowed him to indulge in since they thought it wasn’t fitting of someone in the Manjoume family, and they had thrown out his makeup when they’d found him out once. He’d stayed away from anything like that until he was alone in what he sometimes called his afterlife. Inaba-sensei had encouraged him to do things his brothers had forbidden him to do, so he had tried to do more of those things, and god knows there were a lot of things on that list. When Misawa heard of it he’d eagerly offered to help him make a physical list, but he had yet to take up on the offer. It made him remember that evening when Juudai painted his nails. “I’m gonna skip on the feet though.”

“That’s fine! What about you, Asuka?”

“Raincheck on the nails, but I’ll join you for lunch.” She gathered both her and Jun’s jackets off the coat rack and threw hers on while handing the other to Jun. You two go get Ryo and I’ll let our secretaries know we’ll be out for a while.”

“Aye aye, captain!”

-

They had lunch in a small restaurant, sitting in the back, away from the windows. It turned out that Asuka was going dress shopping for a little bit with Rei. The younger woman hadn’t decided what Asuka was going to wear yet, and since the wedding was coming up they had to choose one as soon as possible. Juudai was also a bridesmaid, and he was going to come along for the shopping so the two matched. Jun remembered that his boyfriend ( _ boyfriend!!! _ ) had mentioned he was hanging out with her today, but he hadn’t mentioned it was wedding related.

When Fubuki had brought up that Jun needed to make sure he dressed to the nines so he could see Juudai swoon he had to hide his face in his hands with how much he was blushing. Asuka was laughing and Ryo was hiding a grin behind his juice glass. He even commented how endearing they had been together during D&D night, making his cheeks grow even hotter. Even Ryo was teasing him!

The whole lunch was nice, and he was in a great mood once Asuka had to go to meet up with Rei and Juudai at a bridal shop a few blocks away. He felt the anxiety bubble inside him again when they exited the restaurant, but Ryo gave him an encouraging smile and Fubuki hooked his arm with Jun’s. “It’s really close and really low key. Ryo doesn’t really care for crowds so I make sure to go quiet places when I take him to stuff like this.”

Ryo hummed in agreement, a slight flush on his cheeks at the affection of an arm snaking around his waist. Jun thought they were adorable and made a note to ask to see more of their wedding pictures than the ones they’d posted on instagram soon. One of the most painful things to think about was how he missed when they got married.

Fubuki kept the conversation flowing all the way to the nail salon, talking mostly about the upcoming wedding and making them both flustered. It worked wonders to keep the anxiety from getting overwhelming, and before Jun knew it they were back inside, Fubuki giving the lady at the register his name and what time he had booked for the three of them.

They were seated and Fubuki went right back to talking, bringing both husband and friend into the conversation as often as he could. Jun found himself mesmerised by the process of the nail artist working, almost lulled into a meditative state where the only thing keeping him awake was when he had to put his hands under the UV lights.

-

He must have dozed off at some point after his nails were done, because when he became aware again Fubuki was done with both fingers and toes, and Jun was sitting in a different chair than he remembered. Ryo was looking lovingly at his husband where he was chatting with the woman who did his nails while paying the bill, and had not yet noticed that Jun was back to the waking world. He watched Ryo for a moment, the sight of pure adoration on the man’s face warming his heart. Seeing Fubuki be so loved made him happy.

Jun looked away before he could get caught staring, and looked out the window instead. Despite how terrible he’d felt during the meeting, he was feeling pretty content now, a comfortable sheet of satisfaction cushioning the anxiety in his brain and heart.

He could only hope it would last.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to file the actual police report.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long, but we've reached the part of the fic I dreaded: the legal stuff. I've tried researching how this would work in Japan but you know, most of the detailed stuff is in Japanese, and I'm mediocre at that so. I'll have to improvise some either way. Just know, attempts at keeping it accurate were made.

He felt good for a total of four days before it came crumbling down.

Him and Asuka were in their third meeting with the lawyer, Watanabe, when she told them that they needed to file the police report and start the actual proceedings that would take them to court. It made Jun feel sick, and he had to excuse himself to go to the bathroom, making it just in time.

They took a short break so he could rinse his mouth and calm himself down, but when they went back to the meeting he was still shaking like a leaf. Asuka took his hand and he gripped it so tightly he would have to apologise for it later. His mouth felt bone dry and he couldn’t concentrate on the situation at hand. Thankfully Asuka was there for him and handled most of it, his mouth locked and unable to make a sound until the meeting ended. He could only nod or shake his head to show if he agreed or disagreed, and it ended with the lawyer letting them know she’d bring all the needed documentation with her the next time they met in a few days.

After she left, Asuka guided him to the couch and had him lie down. She guided him through breathing techniques while he tried not to panic, his hand in hers, tears rolling down his cheeks. It took him an entire hour to compose himself enough to have a coherent conversation. Luckily Asuka seemed to have realised the meetings might take a toll on him and she didn’t have any others until later, so she stayed with him the whole time.

Three days. In three days, directly after the weekend, they’d fill in everything they needed to file an official report. He got it, he really did, Watanabe was a professional and she couldn’t drag things out too much when she eventually had to go back to her proper employer. She was just doing her job efficiently. Still, it didn’t make him feel any better, knowing that soon he’d be able to literally count the days until his brothers would find out he was alive.

He stared into the ceiling, counting the tiles while he took as deep breaths as he could. His mind was spinning.

He looked down to where Asuka was still holding his hand, thumb running across the back of his hand. At least he wouldn’t have to go through this alone.

-

In the two weeks he’d been living with Misawa, he’d really started to consider the apartment home. He liked having Misawa as a roommate quite a lot, to his own surprise. He never really talked much with him in high school, so when he originally moved in he’d been worried. But he was easy to get along with, and on top of that Cheeseburger really liked him too. So when he came back home, Asuka coming all the way up with him instead of dropping him off downstairs, Misawa, who was home at the moment (as he worked partially from home) came to greet them.

“Hey- oh, Jun, what happened?” He put down his tea mug to take over where Asuka had to leave and go back home. She gave each man a hug before leaving, mumbling a few words of reassurance to Jun that Misawa didn’t catch as she closed the door behind her.

Jun sat down on one of the armchairs in Misawa’s little reading nook, where Misawa had quite obviously been about to go, curling up in the seat with Cheeseburger hopping up into the remaining space on his lap. His friend brought him a mug of tea as well before sitting down in the other armchair, staying quiet to give Jun time to collect himself.

For a few minutes, the only sound was the cat’s purring and the occasional clink of a spoon against porcelain.

“My brothers will probably know that I’m not dead in a week.”

“Ah.” Misawa put his mug back down. “I get why that’d take a toll on you. But they don’t know where you live, and you look really different from back then. And even if they find you, we’ll make sure they can’t get to you. Like… guardian angels.

Jun let out a small laugh at that comparison. “You got those in the book you’re reading right now?”

“Yes, and they’re very powerful, so you know we’ll give it our all to keep you safe.”

“Nerd.” He chewed on his lip for a second before following it up with a ‘thank you’.

-

Jun’s mental state took several steps backwards after that. Logically, he knew nothing had been filed yet, so they didn’t suspect a thing, but his nerves were frayed, and going outside made his whole body shake the further into the weekend they got.

So he stayed inside as much as possible, staring at the math equations Misawa left on his whiteboard. He’d always been good at math, but after one too many times of getting looked down on by his brother with his ‘you’re nothing compared to me, I  _ work _ with math every day’ he’d started to hate it. No matter how many 100% he got on a math test, he was constantly criticised for some part in his calculations that could have looked smoother, told that he should do better (they didn’t care that he literally  _ couldn’t _ do any better than 100%). So he got tired of it. He’d started avoiding it where he could. But here he was, living with a math nerd. That made him hate math a tiny bit less.

-

Come monday Jun was a wreck.

Any sudden sound or movement made him flinch, and he left the apartment to go meet Asuka by her car with a sick feeling to his stomach. They were meeting with Watanabe in Asuka’s office as usual first thing in the morning to fill in some papers, then she would take them to the police station that had jurisdiction of the area where he’d been shot where he had to file the report himself. It was going to be a bit trickier since he didn’t have any sort of identification, but with the help of Pegasus’ lawyer, Watanabe had made sure that it would still be possible.

-

The initial paperwork was dealt with way too fast and in what felt like the blink of an eye to Jun, they were on the way to the police station. Asuka sat with him in the back of Watanabe’s car while the woman drove, his friend holding his hand the entire trip. Once he could see the cliff he’d been thrown off years ago in the distance, he felt his throat close up and he had to force himself not to throw up or throw himself out of the damn car to get away from what was ahead of them.

Normally, people don’t find out that a report has been filed against them until a case has actually been opened, but knowing the shadiness of what his brothers were doing back then, knowing they’d probably gotten even more involved with the underbelly of the world, and the fact that they had some cops in their pockets, they had to work off of the assumption that they would find out within the next few days. And that’s why Jun was so terrified he was hyperventilating with his head between his knees, forcing Watanabe to pull up to the side of the road for a minute in case he did throw up. They were delayed for about twenty minutes before they had to continue.

-

He couldn’t stop staring at the cliff. It was still barely visible from where they were parked once they reached the police station, and he just  _ couldn't look away _ . The cliff had been part of numerous of his nightmares; had haunted him for years.

Asuka had to lead him into the building where he was finally able to stop staring.

The man at the front desk was friendly, but when he heard how long ago it happened he looked a bit sceptical. Jun could tell that he wondered why he’d come forward now and not earlier. He knew it was abnormal to report a crime so late, but the crime itself was still within the statute of limitations so he still led them into a room where they would get to talk to a detective. The reception might have gone worse had Watanabe not been there, what with her working for Pegasus and all, Jun wasn’t sure. He’d never really had anything to do with the police before.

The detective that came into the room introduced himself, ironically enough, as Tanaka. It was a common surname, sure, but it was a little bit funny that the detective he filed the report with had the same name he’d used as a fake one.

Tanaka was a serious, no nonsense man who went through the paperwork with no regard to Jun’s mental state. During the part of the initial report where he had to be alone with the man, he almost choked on his own tongue, feeling like it was swelling in his mouth. This wasn’t the first time he was telling someone about what happened, but this time was the one that counted, legality wise, for now at least, and his anxiety made itself well known. He stared down at his nails that were still shiny from when Fubuki had taken him and Ryo to the salon, scratching incessantly at the skin on the back of his hand until the flesh was rubbed raw.

The process was tedious and he had to struggle to keep himself together. He could see the detective found him very unimpressive; an almost 30 year old man isn’t supposed to cry in society’s eyes.

It ended after a few hours, answering questions and taking more pictures of his scarred body. It was uncomfortable, and he’d needed several breaks, but eventually he left the building with Asuka and Watanabe with him. The fresh air hit his face, and he felt like he was able to breathe properly for the first time since friday. 

He was still terrified, but it felt like an important step had been taken.

Now, everything was bound to change.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after the police report.

The day after the police report had been filed, Jun regretted everything. He regretted filing it, he regretted coming back to Tokyo, he regretted not letting himself sink when his brothers pushed him off that cliff into the water. The damn cliff he’d seen in his nightmares last night, and not even getting cuddled by both cat and boyfriend  _ and _ roommate had helped him go back to sleep.

Juudai had tried to calm him down enough to get at least a little more rest, but he had ended up just staring out the window at the dark sky where it was raining lightly, the raindrops pattering against the glass sounding like thunder to his strained senses. At least he was warm and cared for, Juudai to his left and Misawa to his right, Cheeseburger draped over his chest and throat, purring like a motorboat.

He looked between the peacefully sleeping men on either side of him, Juudai draped all over him, holding him close with his nose against his collarbone. Misawa was tucked snugly against his side, deep in sleep.

Cheeseburger stirred, shuffling around until she was face to face with Jun, pawing his face. He wormed his arm out from underneath Misawa and scratched her behind the ear, hearing her trill and nuzzle her face into his hand. Quietly, he spoke to her. “I’m sorry for dragging you into all this. Sorry that you ended up with such a wreck like me.” She only gave his knuckles a few licks in answer before kneading his chest (reminding him that he had to trim her claws, cus ouch) and settling down there, her head resting under his chin.

He closed his eyes, trying to will himself to sleep, but in the end he didn’t get any rest at all.

-

In the morning he downed four cups of coffee in quick succession. He knew Juudai and Misawa were worried about him, but he didn’t have the energy to pretend to be fine. Not like they’d buy it anyway, they knew where he’d been the day before, and what he’d dreamt about during the early night. Something inside him told him that this was all going to go to hell, that all of them, all his friends, were going to die because of him.

Staring out the window where he sat perched on the kitchen counter right next to the coffee maker, Misawa looking at him with hesitation at leaving him to go to work. He heard him and Juudai talk out in the hall when the man had to leave, but he couldn’t find it in him to care. He just felt… empty.

He startled when hands cupped his cheeks, not even having noticed Juudai coming up to him. He hadn’t been able to stop staring in the direction of Marunouchi, but here Juudai was, making him turn his head away to look into his eyes. “Hey, Jun. You need to book an extra appointment with Inaba? Or just talk or chill for the day.”

With a deep sigh, Jun leaned into the warm touch on his boyfriend’s hands, letting his eyes slip shut. The comfort in having Juudai so close was huge, even though he knew he still wouldn’t get to sleep if he went back to bed. “Just… uh, can we just, cuddle for a while…?” He felt his face grow hot, keeping his eyes closed in embarrassment. They cuddled a lot, but he’d never actually asked for them out loud. They both just had a tendency to seek each other out when they felt like it, though Juudai liked to ask for kisses a lot, because it still made his cheeks glow red to be asked for affection. When he’d wanted genuine attention from his brothers they’d just brushed him off or mocked him, but Juudai didn’t do any of those things.

Looking down at Juudai from where he was seated on the counter, the brunette had a warm smile on his face. “I’ll cuddle you as much as you want. Come on.” He wrapped his arms around Jun and to Jun’s embarrassment, lifted him into his arms, shifting until he was carrying him like a groom would a bride in a romantic comedy. It felt silly, but he enjoyed it surprisingly much. Though the emptiness didn’t go away, it lightened its hold on his heart and brain for a moment.

-

In the end, Jun managed to book an extra meeting with Inaba-sensei the next day, and after hearing just about the minor details of why he needed it, the therapist easily agreed to set a morning time aside for him, though due to the short notice, they were doing it online. After that, Juudai decided that they needed a bath, and asked if Jun wanted to bathe together. After some embarrassed hesitation, the raven agreed.

At this point, he’d seen Juudai naked several times, but this sort of relaxed intimacy still felt unreal. It wasn’t like he was some blushing virgin (though everything like that still made him blush, so half of it was accurate) who hadn’t his fair share of nude people, especially considering his time at the cheap gym, but it was somehow so much more intimate to help someone else wash themselves and get helped back. Juudai would pepper his face and neck with kisses, gently brushing his lips against his scars in a way that made him hate them less. Getting called beautiful even though he felt anything but made his heart race, and he had to pour an entire bucket of water over both of them before he said something stupid like ‘I love you’ or ‘marry me’. But god, he really really loved this man so much.

-

It was only a little after three in the afternoon, but they were already tucked back in bed. They were watching a movie on Misawa’s tablet, something Jun didn’t pay attention to beyond the white noise it gave to keep his thoughts at bay. He was warm, clean and felt a more pleasant sort of numb than before. It was like cotton had replaced his brain where he was squashed between Juudai’s warm chest and Cheeseburger’s purring form. After not having gotten any proper sleep the night before, Jun finally fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

-

He ended up sleeping all afternoon and all night, waking up just before five in the morning due to Cheeseburger getting ready to raise her food alarm. He took her into his arms and kissed the top of her head as they went into the kitchen so he could give her breakfast. He felt well rested for the first time in ages, and was in a fairly good mood until he remembered what was going on. He had his meeting with his therapist in four hours, and he could already tell he would get more and more anxious the longer he waited, so he left a note for the other two men sleeping in the apartment and headed for the building’s gym. He needed to tire himself out again, or he knew he would explode come nine o’clock.

Misawa was the one who found him first, having gotten out of bed before Juudai woke up and found the note. Jun, concentrating so hard on each step he took on the treadmill, didn’t notice him until he saw something move in the corner of his eye and he almost fell over when he missed a step, but Misawa helped him get off the treadmill before he could hurt himself, simply lifting him off it. Jun wondered if he really weighed that little that he was that easy to carry around. He didn’t really want to know, honestly, he’d been avoiding the scale.

“Hey,” Misawa greeted as he let Jun back on the ground and pressed the stop button on the machine. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I called your name.”

Jun felt his face flush and he rubbed the back of his neck. “No one used my real name in years so I... don’t always remember that it’s me you’re talking about. Takes me a moment to remember it’s not someone else being called.”

“Hmm, that makes sense.” Jun could see on his face that it made him sad to think about. He didn’t really know what to say to not make it that way though, it just… was the way it was. Jun wasn’t an uncommon name, so he’d had to train himself to be unresponsive to it as much as possible. The reason he reacted so easily to it back a few weeks ago was because the voice had been so familiar. How could he not react when it was  _ Juudai _ calling out to him?

Jun looked over at the clock on the wall, eyes widening. He hadn’t noticed how much time had passed. Seeing the look on his face, Misawa looked concerned. “How long have you been up here?”

“Uuuh. Three hours…? A little longer…?” Misawa rubbed his temples, then offered a hand. “That explains why you look so bad. Come on, you need to eat and drink something.” Jun accepted it, feeling a bit out of it. He really hadn’t realised how long he’d been there. It’s not like he’d been going hard or anything, just enough to keep his mind occupied. His leg hurt like all hell now that his pulse was lowering, and he was pretty sure he would barely be able to walk come tomorrow. Well, he’d been in some amount of pain already after twenty minutes, but he had used it as a distraction from his thoughts. He’d ignored how bad of an idea it was to keep going anyway, and his body was definitely going to punish him for it.

When they came back to the apartment, Juudai was up and reading the note. He turned around when he heard the door open, and stared at Jun in surprise. “When did you go up to the gym to look like that?”

“After I fed Cheeseburger.”

“Oh. You’ve got your meeting in like 30 minutes, are you going to be okay?” They all knew Jun’s cat liked her early breakfasts, but there was no use dragging out how bad it was for Jun to work out for so long and on top of that with no food or water in his system. It might not be the healthiest coping mechanism, especially not in the long run.

“I… regardless, I need this meeting, I think.”

“Okay, but you’re gonna have something to eat and drink before that. Can’t have you passing out or anything, right? We like you too much to let you do that to yourself.”

Jun felt heat grow on his face again at the words of affection when he was ushered to the kitchen table and the other two started preparing breakfast, forcing him to remain seated and told him no, you’re not allowed to help out right now, just sit there and drink some water.

It was weird, but it felt kind of nice being doted on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kinda unsure about this chapter but hmmm, either way, I think I'll feel like that for a few chapters now cus. Idk legal shit lol
> 
> I think I got all the typos but typing with long acrylics is still not something I'm used to


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very unpleasant day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Yule! We celebrate on the 24th in sweden so... God Jul and stay safe! My family has always kept it small when we celebrate, but we're doing it even smaller this year. I'm gonna try to do some yule art for this fic but we'll see if I manage to finish it lmao

The meeting with Inaba went terrible. He’d been warned that it was pretty different to do them online, but since it’d been such short notice it had been the best they could do, since they usually met in Asuka’s office. Jun just hadn’t expected it to be  _ that _ different. He didn’t like it at all, but according to Inaba, at least it was good to test out to see if it was something Jun would like or not. Now they knew not to do it again aside from if it was an emergency. They booked another physical meeting for the following day.

The day just went downhill from there. The police called and asked him to come back to the station later the same day. They’d already talked to Watanabe, though they would have to call Asuka themselves if they wanted her to be there, since she wasn’t his lawyer, just his friend. They had to be there by 15.30, and he did not look forward to it. He rubbed his face in frustration, staring down at the phone on the living room table, questioning his decision to go forward with this yet again. He'd only finished his call with Inaba an hour ago, and now he had to try and stay calm again. On top of that, what if Asuka wasn’t available? Misawa had already had to go to work, as had most of his friends. Juudai was here because he mostly participated in duel tournaments and maybe did some odd jobs here and there during his travels, but he wasn’t really much help legality wise.

Picking his phone up, he texted Asuka, asking if she was available. She wasn’t, but apparently, Mizuchi was. On the one hand, he’d get to know her better, which he wanted to. On the other, the not knowing her made him nervous about having her come with him. Still… he  _ wanted _ to get to know her better. He’d only really interacted with her once after the whole Society of Light thing, with other people around, and it still made him think of it when he let his mind slip at the thought of Asuka’s girlfriend. He felt a lot of guilt over the mess he’d helped cause, even though he couldn’t remember most of it. In retrospect, being portrayed by the hanged man was kind of ironic now, considering his current situation.

He ended up accepting the offer to have Mizuchi come with him, the miko going to pick him up in Asuka’s car, and then they’d meet the lawyer at the office parking lot of Asuka and Ryo’s company so they could all go to the police station in one car.

When he hung up, he felt his nerves fray. He lied down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He’d found himself doing that a lot lately, in the last few days after he’d talked to the police. His body hurt too much to do anything but lie there, and he didn’t look forward to the moving he would have to do come time to leave. Juudai held his hand where he lied next to him, asking if Jun wanted him to come with. Squeezing Juudai’s hand back, Jun slowly nodded in agreement, thankful for the offer.

-

Thanks to Juudai’s presence, the trip over to the police station was a lot less stifling. Juudai kept the conversation flowing, encouraging Jun and Mizuchi to talk to each other as much as possible, knowing that they hadn’t really done that before. Once they got started, it was surprisingly easy to talk to her, and he found that he liked her. He’d thought he would, considering the time they’d played D&D together and going by how Asuka was dating her, but he had still been nervous about it. She even managed to get him to laugh once, even though he couldn’t stop staring at the cliff in the distance as they passed it. This time they didn’t have to stop, Watanabe looking pleased with him when they arrived at the police station without having taken any breaks, and she patted him on the back before heading toward the entrance.

Juudai squeezed his hand as they walked through the doors, but seeing the annoyed look on the receptionist’s face at the sight of their interlocked fingers made Jun withdraw it, wrapping his arms uncertainly around himself. Juudai looked between Jun and the man at the front desk, clearly about to say something before Jun pulled him back, whispering in his ear. “Don’t antagonise him. I don’t know which cops to trust right now as it is, you’ll only make it harder.”

Juudai looked dissatisfied, but relented. “Okay. As long as they don’t say anything, I’ll leave it.”

“I doubt they will, besides, it might just be the PDA in general.” Brown eyes stared at the man at the desk who was now talking to Watanabe, thoughtful for a moment. “Maybe. Feels kinda weird that you’re the one telling me that though.”

That made a small smile quirk Jun’s lips upwards. “Times sure change, huh?”

“How bizarre.”

“Very.”

“I hope you know I’m gonna hold your hand _so_ _hard_ when we get out of here.”

This time Jun actually laughed this time. “I’m fine with that.”

-

Just like last time, the time spent with the police was gruelling. Jun couldn’t stop himself from crying at least twice, but by the time they left the station he’d gathered himself enough to feel at least a little bit presentable. He’d washed his face in the visitor bathroom, so he didn’t feel as gross as he would have otherwise.

His body wasn’t the only thing in pain now; mentally he was exhausted as well. Early on in the car ride he passed out, resting against Juudai’s side, the other man holding his hand as promised. He slept for the entire rest of the drive.

-

When he woke up, it was to the light shaking of his shoulder. Drowsy, he met Mizuchi’s eyes, her lips quirked up in a smile. “We’re switching to Asuka’s car now. Do you want to do anything before I drive you back or are you going right back home?”

Jun ran his hand through his short hair, tugging at it to make it less unruly, though it didn’t help much. A bit flustered over having fallen asleep in front of her when they didn’t know each other that well yet, he shook his head, getting out of Watanabe’s car. “No, uh, home’s good.” Calling the apartment home made his chest feel warm. While he’d lived in his rundown apartment for years, it had always felt a bit empty, but now, with a life where he can reunite with his friends and not hide who he is, he felt like he had an actual home again.

Glancing at Juudai when the other man took his hand again, he was met with a bright smile, and he felt butterflies fill his stomach, turning away from his boyfriend with cheeks blazing red. He didn’t withdraw his hand though. “Yeah, let’s go home.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit goes down when the media gets involved.

The following morning all hell broke loose.

Someone had leaked a huge amount of the case to the press, who was going hog wild with it all. When he was younger he would have been excited about getting so much attention, but now, and with the reason being what it was, he hated it. His only saving grace was that the magazine who had bought the information from whoever leaked it seemed to have kept his phone number and address to themselves, and though they tried to reach him a lot, he knew it would have been much worse had they shared it with others.

He’d been woken up at four in the morning by a phone call, and groggily answered with a confused ‘hello’. The reporter on the other end wasted no time, introducing himself so fast Jun didn’t even catch what he said. The first clear thing he heard was  _ “--and have you been in contact with your brothers yet? How did they respond to your accusations?” _

Jun froze in the middle of getting out of bed, resulting in only one foot on the floor, the other still under him. For a moment he couldn’t get a word out. “I, what- excuse me?”

The reporter continued with no regard to his confusion, repeating what he’d said. “Have you talked to your brothers about your police report? How did they respond?”

Staring straight into the air, Jun hung up the call. When the same number called again he had to run straight to the bathroom.

-

With a phone that was still going off every other minute, everyone in the apartment was now awake. They were gathered in the kitchen, Juudai and Misawa urging him to at  _ least _ have some water. In the end, Misawa turned the phone off, the silence left behind when there was no more ringing deafening. 

Jun was pacing back and forth, until he almost tripped over his cat, and he sunk down into a chair,burying his face in his hands. “They’re gonna kill me. If this comes out on the news before we even get the case going properly, they’re gonna kill me for real this time. I’ll never be able to leave this apartment ever again.”

A hand was gently placed on his shoulder, making him jump. He looked into Juudai’s eyes as his boyfriend pulled him in for a hug. “We’ll protect you, don’t worry. We won’t let them do anything to you anymore.” Jun let out a shuddering breath, slumping against Juudai’s body. “I don’t want them to hurt any of you either…”

Misawa stood back up, putting his hand on Jun’s shoulder with a reassuring smile. “I’m going to make a few phone calls. We’ll figure something out.”

With a weak nod, Jun let himself get warmed by the embrace and the words of comfort as best as he could at the moment.

-

Half an hour later, Jun realised he had to turn on his phone again in case he got any phone calls from the police. He was met by countless voice messages and texts from the reporter from earlier, but no immediate phone call. He took what little time he had before another call rolled in, and pressed on his lawyer’s contact. Three signals went through before a tired voice replied.  _ “Watanabe Hiroko speaking.” _

Relaying what had happened with a lump growing in his throat along with his anxiety, she hummed in understanding, now fully awake.  _ “This is not the first time a thing like this has happened. Like it or not, this is a high profile case considering who your family is, so it's not surprising. I will contact the police department right away to see what we should do. If you need to keep your phone off, what number can I reach you at?” _

Knowing that she was going to handle some of what was happening was a relief, and he fell back on the bed he’d been sitting on. Not hearing any sounds from the room, Misawa knocked on the door before entering, sitting down next to him. Juudai was already there, holding his hand and waiting patiently. The ex Ra-student sat down on his other side, waiting for Jun to speak.

Eventually, he did so. “She’s gonna talk to the cops. Apparently this happens sometimes when it’s about ‘high profile cases’. And my brothers are…  _ very _ high profile.”

Misawa squeezed his hand, Jun turning it over so they could properly hold hands as well. “Then there’s some sort of procedure to this. It’s a terrible thing they’re doing, but at least the police will know somewhat what to do.”

Juudai lied down too, draping his arm over Jun’s chest. “We’ll just have to wait for her to call back for now. She’ll be calling my phone so you can turn yours off again if you need to.”

As if right on cue, his phone rang again, and after checking the number, Jun turned it off with a deep sigh.

-

The first article went out at 5:57.

It was mostly a summary of the case, but it already showed that the news site knew way more than they should by the first paragraph. Soon, the media was all over it.

-

No matter what channel he flipped to, he was face to face with the photo of his younger brother. Chousaku stared into the eyes of his baby brother, who he thought he had killed years ago. His eyes were torn from the screen of the TV by the sound of his front door opening, and after a minute Shoji stepped into the room, a dark look on his face. His phone was ringing, but after a look at it he dismissed the call, only for it to ring again.

Having already turned his own phone off, Chousaku watched Shoji do the same, his slightly younger brother sitting down in the armchair next to him, shoving the phone into his suit pocket. “We need to do something about that,” Shoji said, gesturing toward the big flatscreen mounted on the wall above the fireplace. Chousaku paused the news broadcast, staring at the photo of his youngest brother’s scarred chest. A knot weighed heavy in his stomach, a sour taste on his tongue.

“What do you suggest? The police will be here within days to arrest us at this point.”

Groaning, Shoji looked over at his older brother. “Don’t be such a coward. We have no choice but to finish the job. He needs to be put down, for good this time. We’ll make him disappear.”

Dragging a hand over his mouth, Chousaku couldn’t help but feel like running away from this whole situation. Being faced by what they had done to Jun so blatantly was a punch in the face. He’d felt guilty because of it ever since, but Shoji assured him it had been the right thing to do.

“You’re saying it like he’s just some rabid dog…” 

“Stop having second thoughts now. You’re just as guilty as I am. If you don’t want to go to jail for the rest of your life, you better get your shit together.” Shoji pulled out his second phone, that had contact information to their less savoury business partners. “I’ll make a plan. Just make sure to keep yourself together when I call you next time.”

With that, he strode out of the room, leaving Chousaku to stare at the tv in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap that took longer than expected. My boob fixated cat Kalma was very displeased when I had to move him from his perch on my chest to finish the last scene. Well, at least we have one interest in common. He also made some changes to the document that I have no idea where they are so, uh... lemme know.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: doesn't update for a month  
> also me: two chapters in a week
> 
> it's what i'd like to call
> 
> ~consistency~

Fubuki couldn’t sleep. Ever since the news broke about Jun’s situation, he’d wanted to rush over to Misawa and Jun’s apartment. The problem was that the media had looked into Jun’s past, and knew about the man’s old friends, so now they were trying to get comments from anyone who used to know the youngest Manjoume brother.

They’d talked on the phone at length earlier, but Ryo had managed to stop him from barging out and yelling at the journalists that rang their doorbell every so often. Luckily, Misawa hadn’t been that awfully close to Jun back at Duel Academy, so they had yet to stalk him too. If that happened and they found out where Jun currently lived, things would get messy.

Jun hadn’t left the apartment all day, understandably, but he’d have to leave eventually, which seemed to cause him a lot of stress. Fubuki had spent a lot of the day talking with Asuka and Ryo on how they could best be there for Jun without drawing the attention of the media to his hiding spot. While Ryo had been home with Fubuki most of the day, as his husband was known for having been one of Jun’s closest friends before his disappearance, so the media had tried to get in touch with him most of the day.

Peeking out the window, Fubuki saw the same car that had been parked down the street, that he knew had two reporters in it, still in the same spot as a few hours earlier.

With a groan, he headed to the kitchen, not turning on any lights so as not to tip the reporters off that someone was awake in the building. In the complete darkness he poured himself a glass of water, staring into the night sky outside. He wanted to rush over to Minato, and just take his friend into his arms and hug him like it would make all the world’s problems go away. It made him pissed at himself that if he left to be there with him right now he’d only make it worse, considering the car outside.

Curling in on himself, he felt like he was being punched in the head with a rapidly growing headache. He knew it was one of the things that happened sometimes with his depression, but the timing of it all was unwelcome, especially while being very aware that taking pain medication didn’t help much.

The floor creaked, and he felt himself get wrapped in a warm blanket. Looking up, he met Ryo’s eyes. He felt numb after everything he’d been feeling all day, which in turn made him feel guilty. It wasn’t like  _ he _ was the one who was going through the worst of it. God, how selfish could he be-

“Hey. How about I read to you for a little bit? I’ll make you some tea.”

Staring blindly into his husband’s eyes, it took him a few seconds to register what had been said. Slowly, he nodded, and Ryo pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, cupping his cheeks between his hands. “Jun won’t blame you for feeling overwhelmed. We all are. We haven’t even known about any of this for a whole month yet, things are progressing really fast. You know he looks up to you, he’d never blame you for this.”

Fubuki placed his hands on top of Ryo’s, closing his eyes as he leaned into the touch of his husband’s cold hands. “I know…” He looked back into Ryo’s eyes again, his own still dulled but not as terrifyingly so as when the teal haired man found him on the kitchen floor. “Tomorrow I’ll find a way to go over there. I just need to figure out a disguise or something.”

Rubbing his thumbs across Fubuki’s cheeks, Ryo kissed him on the lips before standing back up to prepare the aforementioned tea. “I’ll have to go to the office since I didn’t go today. I’ll smuggle you out and you can disguise yourself once you’re in the building. I know you can get there unseen if you put your mind to it.”

Taking an offered hand to get back on his feet, Fubuki tightened the blanket around himself. “Thank you. I love you so much, Ryo.”

Ryo gave him a warm smile back. “I love you too, Fubuki.”

-

When Asuka woke up she was met with a message from her older brother, asking her to bring her grey pencil skirt and matching blazer. Back when Asuka and Ryo were trying to get their business off the ground her mother had insisted she get a grey suit, and it was the first one she saw, and so she bought it without even checking the size. She was never planning on wearing it, as grey wasn’t really a colour she wore, she just wanted to show her mum that she’d done as asked. It had ended up too big on her, though it fitted Fubuki pretty well. It wasn’t his style or colour either, it being far too plain for him, so it had just stayed stowed away in her closet for her to deal with at a later date.

She sent him a question mark, putting the phone to the side so she could kiss her girlfriend awake. As Mizuchi stretched like a sleepy cat in their bed, Asuka put her feet in her slippers and stood up, stretching from side to side with her arms above her head.

Her phone buzzed as Mizuchi got up to pull a robe over her nightgown, and Asuka looked it over while they both headed to the kitchen.

_ I’m putting together a disguise so I can go visit Jun. Ryo is sneaking me out so the reporters outside don’t see me leave. It’s something no one would ever guess I’d wear, so it’s perfect. _

She shot back a quick affirmation and started preparing breakfast.

-

Jun hadn’t been surprised when he hadn’t been able to get even an ounce of sleep the night before. He was unbelievably stressed, Watanabe had called, giving him an update. They still had no idea who leaked his files to the press, but the police had managed to get some sort of gag order on them for some parts of the information. At this point most things were out there already, but at least for now no other news sources aside from the ones who broke the story had his number, so that was something. Having finally remembered the block number function on his phone he could now relax a bit more when it came to having it turned on, though he occasionally had to block a new number once in a while.

The worst thing was that he was now just sitting in the apartment, practically waiting for his brothers to show up. Misawa already had a security camera at the door, and there was always someone working in the lobby, so people couldn’t really sneak in as easily. Still, he couldn’t stop worrying.

For a large portion of the night he had been held by both boyfriend and roommate, both men having tried their best to keep his anxiety from rising. It hadn’t helped much this time, despite their best efforts. He’d ended up with a panic attack and a lot of tears, until he was completely exhausted. Even so, he’d been unable to sleep.

So when the doorbell rang around ten saturday morning, his entire body locked up. He fumbled with his phone when it started buzzing, and he stared at the caller ID. Fubuki? They had talked a lot yesterday… Answering the call, he had to clear his throat several times before he was able to speak. “H-hello?”

_ “I’m the one ringing the doorbell. I guess you didn’t see my text, huh?” _

Jun pulled the phone from his ear, and could indeed see a message from his sempai, with an image attached to it. It read ‘ _ omw 2 u, like my disguise?’ _

He stared at the image. If he hadn’t been told who was in the photo, he would never have guessed it was the older man on the phone with him right now. “I, uh, I’ll let you in.”

Hanging up, he stood on wobbly legs, heading for the door. Looking at the little camera display next to the door just to be safe, he saw the same person as in the photo. Relieved, he unlocked the door, allowing Fubuki to slip inside. Once the door was locked behind him, Fubuki wrapped his arms around his friend in a gentle hug.

“I’ll stay here as long as you need me to, okay?”

Jun nodded into the long strands of hair tickling his nose.

Then he pulled back, looking at the man in front of him. “I never would’ve known it was you if you hadn’t sent me that picture. You look so different.”

“You bet! I’m not gonna let anyone find your home, so I made myself look as different as possible.”

Jun took in the knee length grey skirt with the matching blazer. He looked like any tired business woman he’d seen thousands of times before. The shoulder length black-brown wig looked like it had grown out of his head, and the makeup was flawless.

“Do you think… you can help me look that different?”

“Of course. I’m always happy to teach you anything you want me to, and today I kind of planned to teach you this. I brought a bunch of stuff.” He placed the business looking bag on the kitchen table, opening the clasps. “I brought a few wigs, some clothes, makeup. I couldn’t fit any shoes, but I’ll help you with that too.”

“Now,” Fubuki patted one of the chairs. “I’ll get the mirror Misawa practices speeches in front of and then we’ll check the wigs out to see which one suits you the best.”

-

When Juudai returned to the apartment after having bought food, determined to make some of Jun’s favourite food to maybe bring him some comfort, he spotted low heeled women’s shoes and an unknown blazer in the entrance. For a moment his pulse rose, but then he could hear a familiar voice. Relaxing again, he smiled at Winged Kuriboh who cooed at him before fading into the background again.

Stepping into the kitchen he was met by a clutter of makeup brushes, eyelash curlers, wigs and clothes. He blinked in confusion when he didn’t recognise the two people sitting at the table, but squinting, he realised one of them was none other than his boyfriend. The other one clearly had to be Fubuki, considering the voice.

“Wow, I thought I was in the wrong apartment for a second!”

Fubuki turned around, hands pausing where they had been fluffing up the cute brown bob wig Jun was wearing. “Doesn’t he look cute?”

Juudai grinned, putting the grocery bags on the counter before coming over to get a closer look, and so he could give his partner a kiss. He could feel the taste of lipstick, ignoring the half-hearted ‘you’re gonna smudge it’ from Fubuki. “Extremely cute.”

Jun pouted, tugging at a lock of brown hair to distract from how flustered he was. “I’m supposed to look plain, not cute.”

“Impossible, you look cute no matter what you look like.” Fubuki nodded in agreement.

“ _ You’re _ impossible,” Jun argued, hiding his face behind the empty makeup bag.

-

Two tones rang before someone picked up on the other end.

Shoji tapped his foot impatiently as he waited, greeting the person before delving right into the problem at hand. “I need you to find Jun’s whereabouts. You’re the best one for the job. Can you have it done before monday?”

A chuckle could be heard through the line, the sound grating on Shoji’s nerves. Get  _ on _ with it already. Will you do it or not?

_ “Of course, of course. Don’t you worry, I’ll find him for you soon. You know what my fees are. I look forward to doing business with you again.” _

Their goodbye was quick, and for now, all the man could do was wait, and plan. Soon enough he’d be able to make his move. There was no way he’d let anyone get in the way of his world domination. _ No one _ .


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyyyyy can you believe it????
> 
> also, fun fact, in the top of the chapters i list what weekday and how many days it's been since jun and juudai reuinted and chapter 28 is set on day 28 lol

Fubuki didn’t leave Misawa and Jun’s apartment til the evening. He left Jun with a few different wigs and outfits, telling Jun to call him any time he needed to talk, no matter the time.

Taking a long bath together after dinner, Jun and Juudai were both wrinklier than a couple of prunes by the time they exited the bathroom. Misawa was seated in his reading nook with a book on his lap, tea in a mug next to him. Looking up, he gave them a mischievous smile. “Had a good time in there?”

Jun’s face burned, while Juudai didn’t seem to catch the innuendo whatsoever. “Yup! Whatcha reading?”

While Jun wandered into the kitchen to make himself and Juudai hot chocolate, he listened to Misawa explain the book about the evolution and intelligence of the octopus. It was comforting to hear them talk about something so mundane, something that seemed to make Misawa so enthusiastic and Juudai curious to learn something new that wasn’t going to be graded.

Once he came back into the living room, Juudai pulled him into his lap on the second armchair in the reading nook, nuzzling his face into Jun’s neck that was still warm from the bath. Arms wrapped around him and Jun felt his face grow hot again, catching Misawa’s eye as the other man picked up his tea mug. An embarrassed pout snuck on Jun’s face at the warm smile on his roommate’s face, so he distracted himself by blowing at his own mug, listening to the rustling of pages turning and the quiet humming as Juudai rested his cheek against his back.

He felt warm and loved, making him all fuzzy on the inside. Maybe, just maybe he could handle going up against his brothers after all.

-

After having spent the first few hours looking into all of the youngest Manjoume brother’s high school friends, he had moved on to see which ones were easiest to get access to. The one Jun had seemed to be the closest to, Tenjouin Fubuki, seemed to have stayed at home while his husband went to the office.

He set up a camera at the best and most inconspicuous place he could find, that recorded and sent a live feed to his phone. Then he moved on to find one Yuuki Juudai. He had no permanent address, but seemed to be temporarily living with a friend in Minato while he waited for two of his other friends to get married. And now, considering what was going on with the Manjoume family, he could safely assume the man would stay in the country until that whole thing was settled.

While he couldn’t get inside the building just like that as there was always security and a receptionist, alongside the front door being protected by a code lock, he set up cameras aimed at the windows from all four directions. He didn’t know the exact apartment, but the public address supplied on the internet gave him a floor number, so he just had to wait to spot any familiar face to pinpoint the exact flat.

He continued like that, until he checked back on the feeds he had established. Forwarding through them, he noticed something strange.

For someone who was supposedly at home, there sure seemed to be no activity at the Tenpouin household. 

One light had turned on, but he noticed that it was at ten am on the dot, and he saw no trace of a silhouette. A timer, he surmised.

Was he not actually home? Tapping his finger against his leg, he kept looking at the feed. Once in a while a car would stop what he presumed to be reporters rang on the door, but no one answered. There was no movement inside the house.

It was time to drop by again.

-

When Ryo smuggled Fubuki back inside their home for the night, there was something that felt off. Everything was exactly the same as when they’d left the house. There was no real reason for them to feel on edge, but as soon as they closed the door to the garage that lead right into the house they exchanged glances. After both having dealt with a lot of dark energy and whatnot, they sometimes joked about their paranoia, but this… the atmosphere was straight up wrong. Putting a finger to his lips, Fubuki led the charge through the hallway. Together they cleared every room, every space where someone could hide, only to come up empty.

There was nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Yet they were both so entirely sure that something had happened there.

Still tense, they could do nothing but start preparing dinner, the silence heavy between them.

It wasn’t until they were heading to bed that they discovered it.

In the bedside table where Fubuki kept various things to occupy his hands while Ryo read aloud to him, something was missing. Freezing, Fubuki’s voice rose from his side of the bed. “Ryo, call Jun, Juudai or Misawa right now.”

Feeling his pulse rise, Ryo grabbed his phone, unlocking it immediately. “What is it?”

“My tablet’s missing.”


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heed the updated archive warnings and tags.

Shoji had really managed to find the best contacts.

The man had found Jun’s location with 11 hours to spare before the clock struck midnight to reach monday. Now, they had to act fast. This time, there would be no guns, and no throwing his younger brother off a cliff before actually confirming he was dead.

He just had to get his coward of an older brother sorted out, because his hesitation was getting ridiculous. But he knew how to remedy the risk of him telling the truth. They had to get this done tonight though, before Jun had the chance to relocate.

Scrolling through the tablet in his hands, that clearly synched with the man’s cell phone, he frowned at the amount of pictures this man had of the person who was apparently his husband. This was obscene. This man was wealthy, Shoji had once hoped that Jun would marry his younger sister, but the youngest Manjoume had fucked that up too. 

He stopped at a photo where a woman had her arm wrapped around another, kissing her on the cheek while a man very familiar to him held her from the other side, similarly pressing his lips to the woman’s cheek. Yuuki Juudai. He tried to place the two women, certain that he had seen the person in the middle before as well somewhere.

When it clicked, he almost threw the tablet through the room.

-

The phone rang where it was lying on the living room floor. Jun stared with wide eyes into the barrel of a gun, the stern face of his older brother Shoji holding onto the cold metal object.

He didn’t know how Shoji and Chousaku had gotten into the building without anyone recognising them, considering they were all over the news, but they had managed to get all the way to the apartment accompanied with a food delivery man. They hadn’t ordered anything, and they had been suspicious, but chalked it up to reporters having decided to try Misawa to get some sort of comment on the whole Manjoume scandal.

Donning his most unassuming face, only aware of who he thought was a reporter at the time, and unlocked the door. The safety chain was still on, just to be on the safe side since you never knew how intrusive a reporter could be, but still, there was no way he would have expected what happened next.

The first thing that happened was a stun gun being pressed to Misawa’s chest, knocking him out before he could even make a sound. At the sound of metal, Jun got off Juudai’s lap and let his boyfriend head to the hallway. As far as it was possible, Jun could not be seen by who they thought was a nosy reporter. Juudai froze for a second before starting toward the door, only to be pushed back by the unknown man aiming a gun at him. Seeing Juudai walk backwards, back into the living room, Jun came face to face with his brothers for the first time in almost a decade.

He felt himself become stiff with fear, all his nightmares seeming to come true. They were here, and they were going to kill him, Juudai and Misawa.

Chousaku was dragging Misawa’s limp body behind him, a strange look on his face that Jun couldn’t decipher. He let go of him once he was propped up on the couch, and Shoji motioned for the couple to sit down next to their unconscious friend. Uncertainly, Jun reached forward to check Misawa’s pulse, but was stopped by his second oldest brother. “Don’t move, Jun, if you don’t want your friend to  _ actually _ die.”

Jun quickly looked back at his brother, who was handing their oldest brother a roll of duct tape. The unknown man was also aiming a gun at them now. Juudai slipped his hand into Jun’s, smiling at him in reassurance. Sadly, it did little to help his anguish now.

Chousaku ordered Jun to turn around, and with despair in his eyes he tried to meet his older brother’s eyes as his hand was forced apart from Juudai’s. Chousaku refused to look at him, hurriedly wrapping the tape tightly around his wrists. He could feel the warmth seep from his fingers before he had even gotten started on doing the same to his legs. Juudai’s hands and feet were quick to follow suit, tightly wrapped in tape behind his back. Juudai’s gaze was unwavering as he looked right into Shoji’s eyes as Chousaku proceeded to bind Misawa as well.

Gritting his teeth in annoyance, Shouji moved, pistol whipping the brunet across the face. Juudai fell to the floor, but as he rolled over he kept looking right into his eyes. “You know killing any of us here won’t make what you’ve already done go away. Everyone knows.”

Jun cried out as Shoji kicked Juudai in the stomach, making him curl in on himself as he tried to catch his breath again. “Shut the fuck up or I’ll tape your whole face shut.”

Juudai, realising that probably entailed both mouth and nose, kept quiet for the moment, but kept his gaze trained on the middle brother. He was shoved back into his seat next to Jun, only for Shoji to step closer, leaning over his younger brother. “I’m going to make sure you wish you’d never been born, you little freak. You should’ve just died when we pushed you over that cliff, but you’ve always been nothing but trouble, your whole life.” Jun felt a lump grow in his throat when Shoji spat him in the face. “Our parents never gave a shit about you either, you know that, right? I wish they’d taken you with them when they died so we wouldn’t have had to put up with your sorry ass for so long.”

Jun looked up at Shoji with desperation, unable to respond but feeling his heart break into little pieces, that Shoji was willingly stomping on with glee at every impact.

Then, to his surprise, Shoji took a few steps back, training the gun at the couple again. “Chousaku,” he spoke, making the oldest sibling snap his attention back to them from where it had been drifting. “There’s a belt in the briefcase, go get it.” Clearly confused, Chousaku still did as told, holding the thick brown leather in his hand.

“What did you bring this for?” he asked, looking uncertain. Shouji just motioned toward Jun with his head. “Tie it around his neck and buckle it so he chokes.”

Jun felt his heart drop to his stomach, and he exchanged a panicked look with Juudai, who couldn’t help but look at Shoji in shock right after. “You can’t do that-”

As soon as Juudai opened his mouth, the unknown man pressed the taser against Misawa’s ches, the sound making Juudai choke on his words. “How many times do you think it’ll take till his heart gives out? I know you have a friend who almost died from something like this, and I ensure you, the voltage on this is extremely high.”

Juudai clamped his mouth shut.

“Now, get on with it, Chousaku.” He motioned with the gun this time, making Chousuke start. Jun looked up at his oldest brother with despair. “Please, please, at least just kill me and let the others go, I’m the one that caused you all this trouble, so if you just kill me this will all be over. Please, I-”

His words were cut off as the belt was pulled tightly around his neck, so tight it cut off his breathing. He looked at Chousaku as the belt tightened even further, the clasp snapping shut around his throat. Tears finally slipped down his face, and he gasped quietly for air his lungs needed. He could see the form of his brother shake, though he wasn’t sure if it was because of the lack of oxygen or if he was actually feeling something as well.

Everything started to get black around the edges of his vision when he heard the sound of something tearing. Then his brother disappeared from his sight, and an ungodly scream could be heard.

The last thing he could remember was the sound of a gunshot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're in the home stretch omg. Also, I almost wrote "mouth and nose" as "Mouse" cus it's late and I should sleep cus I have work tomorrow but I. Well. Something amusing to leave you with on this cliffhanger.
> 
> Also for some reason there's a second end note about it being past 1am? uuuh, it's like 11... i can't remove it for some reason so maybe editing this in will make it disappear. strange.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're finishing this toniiiight, let's go

Thank god that Asuka still had her key to the apartment, as she and Mizuchi were the first to arrive. The receptionist greeted Asuka with a friendly face, but the only reply she got was Asuka asking her to please send security to Misawa’s apartment. The woman behind the desk looked startled but the two women rushing by could see her pick up the phone as the elevator doors closed behind them.

She tapped her foot impatiently against the floor, her girlfriend taking her hand and giving it a firm squeeze. She would have teleported them, but they had no way of knowing what was happening in the apartment, as she hadn’t had any predictions about it. There was a terrible feeling in her stomach though, and she steeled herself for whatever was to come.

The elevator stopped, and got outside, making sure to stay quiet just in case. The door to the apartment was closed, but as Mizuchi copied herself to go first, they found it unlocked. Pushing the door open, they were met by the sound of something falling to the floor with a heavy thud. Then someone started yelling and a gunshot ran off, deafening in the apartment.

Rushing into the living room, throwing caution to the wind, the two women came face to face with a scene that would have fit out of a horror movie.

The first thing they saw was Juudai, hand covered in blood as it withdrew from where it had clearly been plunged into the oldest of Jun’s brother’s side. The oldest Manjoume was the source of the thud, as he had fallen to the floor in front of the couch. In front of Chousaku was Jun, unconscious Juudai turned to undo the belt fastened around his neck. Blood soaked claws caught against the light, too sharp for anything human. Juudai’s hair stood on end, his eyes practically glowing with how intense the colour was. Misawa was unconscious as well, but his neck was free.

“What- what the fuck--” Their attention snapped to the last Manjoume, who was standing with his gun raised, hand shaking uncontrollably. Another man was staring wide eyed at the scene by the couch, eyes not daring to leave Juudai’s form. “What kind of f-freak are you…!?” Shoji yelled, steadying his hand with the help of the other, making himself ready to fire another shot.

Instantly, Mizuchi teleported both her and her copy, one in front of the man and the other behind. The copy grabbed his arm and twisted it until it pointed straight up, not needing to worry about a shot in that direction as they were on the top floor. The original made him drop the gun by a hard strike to his brachial plexus. At the intense pain, it looked like Shoji was going to vomit, and taking the opportunity of him bending forward gave, she chopped at his neck with the side of her hand, his unconscious body falling to the floor.

Meeting the eyes of the final man, who she had no idea who he was, he held up his hands in a disarming gesture. “I don’t mess with twins,” he stated, but Asuka caught the tensing of the muscles in his hand, and she yelled her girlfriend’s name.

But she was already on it, creating more copies of herself, making the stranger’s eyes widen. He aimed the gun at the one he thought was the real one. “What kind of magic trick is this?!”

He was so distracted by Mizuchi that he failed to notice the arrival of Fubuki and Ryo, and the older Tenjouin jumped at the man without thinking of the consequences. Just as another shot rang out, Mizuchi threw out a barrier between it and Fubuki, the bullet bouncing against it and back into the man’s thigh. The man screamed, grabbing his leg at the unexpected explosion of pain.

“Fuck, you whore!” With a cold look in his eye, Fubuki slapped the man across the face, making him fall back. “Don’t talk to her like that,” he spoke with a dark tone reminiscent of when he’d first been rediscovered after his disappearance. Ryo put his hand on his husband’s shoulder, snapping him out of it while Asuka grabbed the gun out of the stranger’s hand. Quietly, Mizuchi struck him with a similar blow to the neck that made him pass out.

Finally, the room fell quiet, and eyes turned toward the couch. Juudai was cradling Jun’s face, his head on his lap. He was still unconscious, but seemed to be breathing, the sound raspy against the otherwise silent room.

When Juudai turned to look at them, they spotted the third eye on his forehead, and with the voice of a woman mingling with his own, She spoke.  _ “Though I didn’t like him, Juudai does, and I won’t forgive anyone who tries to take Juudai’s happiness away.” _ She looked down at the bleeding man at their feet, caressing Jun’s cheek as she continued.  _ “He won’t die, Juudai wouldn’t let me. But he’ll be in pain for a very long time.” _

Mizuchi let her clones fade, and she kneeled in front of the card spirit possessing their friend’s body. “You’re Yubel.” The spirit met her eyes, nodding after a moment of consideration. “Can you let Juudai back in control? Security is coming at any moment.”

With an annoyed frown on her face, the card spirit finally agreed. Claws turned into nails, eyes went back to their normal state. The third eye closed and faded into smooth skin, his hair falling back with the weight of gravitation.

That’s when they saw the big red stain on Juudai’s shirt, covering the entire front of the worn cotton. The shirt having been black it had been easy to miss amongst the chaos, but now, Asuka fell to her knees next to her girlfriend. “You’ve been shot,” she exclaimed, distressed at the sight. “Fubuki, call an ambulance-”

That’s when the sound of people barging into the apartment burst their bubble, feet thundering through without a care. Police in protective gear and weapons drawn flooded the room, and all of them froze.

Taking in the scene, the person who seemed to be their leader looked over all of them, seeming to recognise most of them from the amount of media coverage the case had already gotten. She made a hand gesture, guns quickly lowering, and someone spoke in a walkie talkie to send in the paramedics.

-

The steady beeping was what ultimately drove him to open his eyes after the half aware state he’d been in for a while. It felt like it got louder and louder, and it just made him more and more annoyed. Jun opened his mouth, but felt something in the way, making his pulse rise and he struggled to move, his brother’s figure looming over him, making him want to scream, but nothing coming out.

“Jun- Jun it’s okay, you’re at the hospital, you’re safe, no one’s gonna hurt you!” he heard a familiar voice, though in his distress he couldn’t connect it to a face, only Chousaku in front of him filling up his field of vision, Shoji looming behind him and urging him on. Tears streamed down his face, until gentle hands cupped his cheeks. They were warm... Nothing like the cold leather he’d felt restricting his air. “The nurse is gonna give you some more meds, okay? After what happened they expected you to not be okay if you woke up while the tube’s still in you, but your throat’s still too swollen for you to breathe on your own.”

He could pick up some of the words, the sentences registered slowly, until he had gathered enough to know that there was something  _ in _ his throat rather than something wrapped around it. Still shaking like a leaf, he closed his eyes to the image of his brothers. After a while he felt his body grow heavier, and his mind fuzzier. It was only then that he dared to open his again, blinking through the tears clinging stubbornly to his eyelashes. He couldn’t turn his head, but at his obvious attempt, his company stood up.

For a minute, Jun’s body grew tense, expecting either of his brothers to make another attempt at his life, but calm flooded his senses as he met Fubuki’s warm eyes. The brunet brushed sweaty bangs off Jun’s forehead, palm eventually coming to a rest on his cheek. “It’s over. They’re arrested, everyone’s okay. It’s finally going to be fine.”

This time, the tears rolling down his face were ones of relief.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter and then the epilogue hhhhhh

Since the day he woke up in the hospital, Jun had started to grow his hair out again. The hair he’d forced himself to keep short for years to make himself look more different than his old self was slowly growing, millimeter by millimeter. The longer it got, the fluffier it became, and Juudai loved running his hands through the thickness of it.

They now had gunshot wounds in almost the same place, which Juudai found funnier than Jun did. Luckily, as Juudai was able to get proper medical care, the healing process was much easier. Misawa had felt terrible for a while, but he was the fastest to recover.

Even after most of the swelling went down and he could finally breathe on his own, Jun hated the feeling of anything touching his neck. It was the one part he decided to change while growing out his hair; he gave himself an undercut to keep even the smallest curl of hair from touching the mottled skin. He did it himself as not even Juudai was allowed near his neck at the time, so it was uneven and choppy, but it lifted a weight off his shoulders.

The only one who seemed largely unaffected by the catastrophe of the day his brothers invaded the apartment was Cheeseburger. She’d been hiding while the whole thing went down, and he had hugged her close when they were reunited after he was discharged from the hospital.

-

The case had added another perpetrator after that; the stranger who had broken in with Shoji and Chousaku was named Hara Kaimen, and he had a long history of doing bad things. He didn’t speak a word aside from “I don’t know” or “no comment” at any interrogation or interview.

Chousaku admitted to everything. The police couldn’t figure out what had hurt him that night, as there was no trace of DNA or a weapon from the puncture wounds. He himself refused to explain that part as well.

Shouji on the other hand was vehement that he had little to no fault or involvement, despite having been there. How he had planned on getting away with killing Jun and at least two other people after all eyes were already on him was anyone’s guess, because he did nothing but deny.

-

The wedding between Rei and Martin was held inside a christian church. Neither bride nor groom were particularly religious, but remembering the love Rei had for the dresses and her deck, she was ecstatic. The ceremony itself had a lot of french traditions mixed in with their own Japanese ones. Neither country traditionally had bridesmaids, but Rei had insisted, and Asuka and Juudai were the ones she picked for the job. Martin had one of his DA friends as a best Hayato again had been weird for Jun, as he knew it was thanks to him that he had gotten to have such a capable lawyer. They didn’t hug, as they weren’t really that close, and honestly, Jun still couldn’t handle the feeling of people’s hair or cheek brushing against his neck. But they spent a good while talking during the party after the ceremony.

The ceremony itself was beautiful. Rei sparkled in her big white gown, looking like something right out of her own middle school fantasies. The look on Martin’s face as he put the ring on her finger was one of utter adoration, making even Jun’s heart clench despite not knowing the man that well.

-

Early in the morning, when the party was finally winding down, Jun sat on the balcony, looking out at the garden of the mansion Vice-chancellor Napoleon had rented for the occasion.

He’d seen Rei and Martin sneak away two hours ago despite being supposed to be there a while longer, and he’d smiled at the sight of the newlywed.

He ran his fingers along the cold grass of his champagne, the contents almost gone by now. He hadn’t been drinking that much, and was only tipsy when a voice called out to him. “Hey, there you are.” Looking over his shoulder, he locked eyes with Juudai and smiled. “Were you looking for me?”

Juudai sat down next to him on the bench, leaning his back against the stone railing of the balcony. “Don’t wanna go too long without seeing your beautiful smile.”

Jun snorted, hiding an amused smile behind the rim of his glass as he took a sip. “You’re embarrassing.”

“Worth it to make you laugh,” Juudai replied, cocking his head to the side to give him the most loving look he’d ever received. “You’ve been smiling a lot tonight. I love it. I’d like to see it forever, if you’d let me.”

“Is that a proposal?”

“Maybe. Think of it as a promise that I  _ will _ propose. Even I know it’s a bit too soon to get engaged after not even having dated for two months.”

That made Jun grin, shifting a bit closer to his lover. “God knows how I fell for someone so dorky.”

With a brilliant smile, Juudai leaned closer, until their noses bumped against each other. Do you regret it?”

“Not one bit.”


	32. Epilogue.

It had taken Jun two full years after the sentencing to build up the courage to go meet his brothers again. He had been told that he didn’t have to if he wasn’t comfortable, and so, he had waited until he was entirely sure he wanted to do it.

On a rainy late spring afternoon he stepped inside the prison his oldest brother now resided in. It was a far cry from the lap of luxury the Manjoume family had enjoyed. Nervously, Jun sat down on his side of the glass partition that would separate him from his brother. A minute or so later, Chousaku arrived along with a guard who sat down to observe and take note of anything that was said.

“Your hair has grown really long, Jun… I don’t think I’ve ever seen it so long before.” It was unbelievably awkward, neither of them knowing what to say, and this is what they ended up with. Jun ran his hand through four years of growth. After letting it grow freely for the last few years it reached down on his back in curls that got wilder the older he got.

“And yours is… really short.”

With a small laugh, Chousaku dragged his hand over his shaved head. “Yeah, they’re really strict about it. It felt very strange the first few months.”

They lapsed back into silence again for a while, both looking awkward whenever their eyes happened to meet. “Did you… visit Shoji?”

Jun shook his head. “During the trial, you were the only one who felt remorse. That made it easier to visit you. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive you, but…” he looked firmly into his older brother’s eyes. “I wanted to tell you that I’m doing amazing. I’m engaged. I’m a godfather to a pair of three year old twins and a newborn. I wanted to tell you that I’m happy.”

A sad smile played on Chousaku’s lips. “I don’t know how much it’s really worth, but I hope the rest of your life will remain happy. I get out again in three years, but I won’t contact you. If you ever decide you want me in your life again, I’ll let you be the one who makes the terms. And if you never want to speak to me again, that’s fine too.”

Feeling a hot lump in his throat, Jun nodded. His voice was just a whisper when he spoke again. 

“We’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The twins are Fubuki and Ryo's kids, the newborn is Asuka and Mizuchi's.

**Author's Note:**

> It's past 1 am, oops.


End file.
